Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello my name's Taylor,
I feel kind of nervous being here which is ridiculous because it's online but anything social really puts me on edge and makes me feel anxious. Deep breaths! I have autism which is why I've come here. I'm not sure what I hope to get from this, I guess just that sense of being with others, even though it's online. I'm on my own now since 2016 when my mum passed away and I lost my dad when I was thirteen. Losing dad was hard, losing mum was the hardest thing yet. Life is tough and it feels like it's constantly getting tougher, like a game where a really horrible person is constantly doing awful things to you. My health is bad now as well. Not really coping with everything that's happened and is happening but I'm trying to stay afloat and still be happy and enjoy things. It's not always easy but I try! I really enjoy computer programming and reading and learning new things. I'm a bit of a nerd, but that's my life. I've already read and learnt so much but I love that there's always still so much to discover and learn about! I used to bore my mum silly about all the things I was learning about at the time, like space, dinosaurs, poisons... Whatever took my interest at the time! Poor mum!!! I work as a programmer but I'm not doing as much now since I got sick. I do what I can when I'm feeling well enough. I do like to get myself outside every day if I can, I love feeling the wind in my hair, smelling the summer air and possibly doing a bit of painting if I can. Even in dark times I try to let light in to brighten things up. I wish there was more help and support for people with autism, I get no help for my autism issues. That's another reason why I came here. But for now I'll start with hello, I hope you've had a great day! ^-^
Yes, I have the same problem with not knowing what to say.
I think we are very similar! I write lots but it is misleading, it makes me sound so talkative like I never stop talking all day long whereas in reality I'm shy and quiet and hardly speak. I don't like talking if I'm honest. I find it perplexing in the sense that often I don't know what to say, so many people talk to me the conversation just dies because I can't continue it. I can't start them either. Always been the same. But I won't bore us all with that!
I don't think you need to apologise for writing what you wrote! I also write too much, although I'm quiet in person.
It’s oka! Yah keep it in mind!! I’m always up for a little chat and that
Hello thank you Desmond! I find it's easy to lose enthusiasm with it. If a bit of code isn't going right and looks like it's going nowhere I lose enthusiasm but my brain kicks in and wants to find the solution as fast as possible! I started programming at school and haven't looked back since. I love it. Do you mind if I ask what you decided to do instead? I still love to code but can't do as much now. I wish my health was my wealth but sadly not at the moment.
Thank you! I will bear that in mind. I only ever did online chatting once before but it wasn't a good experience for me. But this does seem so much better already. I still feel anxious and nervous but I'm hoping that this will pass in the end. I think it's the fear of the unknown, new place, new people. But I am liking it so far.
Welcome home, Taylor.
I wanted to code, at Uni, but lost all enthusiasm during Final Year. In the end, it wasn't meant to be.
Now, my health is my wealth.
Your more than welcome too private mail me
Hello thank you! It took a while, I didn't realise how much I had written there. Sorry. I do usually write and say too much unfortunately. I'll try not to in future. And thanks, I try to be resilient which isn't always easy but you can't fall over at the first hurdle got to keep going before you get pulled under the currents. I'm just about to have breakfast yuck! Not my favourite meal.
Thank you for replying to me. Take care. Have a good day.
Hello! Well done for posting! I'm sorry that you've had to face so many challenges. You sound very resilient.