Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there I'm Paige. I was diagnosed really young. I struggled through the whole of school life and now I'm finding life as an adult even harder. My Autism has always been my biggest and hardest struggle but now I've got a lot of mental health problems creeping in, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar and PTSD. Now it feels like the professionals don't actually want to help and that they are just having fun giving me new conditions every time I see them. They keep giving me loads of vile medications which don't seem to actually do anything but make me worse because of the side effects. I'm thinking about contacting someone else about my problems but I literally no idea who I can call for help. I call the GP and she can't be bothered now just says to call the mental health team or hospital. My family are great, they give me a lot of help and support which is great but they can't help me with my problems. I talk to Samaritans a lot which is helpful, just being listened to and being able to unload everything on my mind is a big help. But I do feel really alone with all this, no one else seems to struggle this way and it feels like the professionals don't really care. I call my team and the nurses tell me to take a calming pill and literally hang up. Last call to them was less than 30 seconds.
It's like slamming my head into a brick wall.
Sorry to go on there, just frustrated with everything.
When I'm not struggling with the above I like to do pencil drawing and sketching, it's a special interest and talent of mine. I really enjoy it. Especially drawing outside in the fields. I like Lego as well, used to play with it, still do to be honest And I also like music.
Paige x
I'm sorry to hear. Do you have food allergies you know of?
Sometimes depression can be from a lack of vitamins, as we get older we might need help staying healthy. My son used to struggle with this & we tried different medications to help get him through school. Finally after Uni he went off them and started a multi + ashwaganda. It was a bit life changing. Also, changing his life situation helped. He's been living with me since and only has had severe anxiety when impacted by relationship problems. I've struggled with it too, but it always seems to be a response from an exterior source due to being hyper-sensory emotionally and physically. In fact, I've had to learn to breathe through the impact as I had been asked if I was bi-polar.
I've turned my home space in to one that does not create harsh impact. This has taken years, but there is so much less anxiety in my life than when I had less agency, less control and didn't understand how to be mindful and purposeful with relationships and creating boundaries. It was a lot of work. Trauma is kind of like this. Talking through problems and gaining philosophical insight or even wisdom from mentors has really been freeing. There are certain things that are hard to forgive, but again, it's so much better having found individuals who were able to help.
That isolation is probably the worst. Alleviating that through connexion with other autistic individuals makes a great deal of difference. Sometimes a thing is far less traumatic or has little impact when we simply feel understood. x
Hi JuniperFromGallifrey, thanks for taking time out to reply to me.
The only told food allergy I know of is that I'm allergic to nuts. I'm not sure about any others.
That's really interesting with your son and you. I'm glad though that together you did make things better and easier for him, and yourself as well. I'm sure it's still very hard at times but at least you worked some things out and looked at it from a different angle in a way. That's really good. It sounds like stopping his original medication stuff helped him a lot. I'm tempted to stop my own medication but if I do the doctors and mental health team ask me to take them again and if I don't they land me with a section 2 under the mental health act. Absolutely crazy. Sounds like though that you and your son are doing really well. I get the severe anxiety every now and then like with relationships but that's still so positive for him. Well done you, your a great parent, he's lucky to have you! Your so understanding and supportive.
That's brill how you've changed and adapted your home into such a safe and chill environment. I've done that with my bedroom to ease stress but the rest of the house is still mad and triggering for me. You have such a great way of looking at things. You are right as well, trauma is like that. Talking is meant to help but so far it isn't helping me, maybe I'm talking to the wrong people. That's one of the reasons why I came here to talk to others who will understand the struggles.
Your so right. Just feeling understood is such a wonderful thing. Xx