Published on 12, July, 2020
I've realised I have an issue with where I'm actually not sure what I'm doing or if I like them. I get really into things to the point of obsession, research and buy then don't know what's meant to happen next. I've recently spent ~£500+ on used dolls over 6 months I really like, but now I don't know what to do. I have 5 sewing machines. In fact the sewing machines is a great example. I had a sewing machine, but decided to by aa stronger vintage Singer. Ii watch videos and got caught up in the mechanical and repair side of them. I bought an old one, repaired it, but had spare parts, then got 2 more broken ones to repair with the spare parts I had, then another one which was a hand wheel. I seem to get to a "what happens next" part where I realise that I don't feel relaxes or happy because I'm just surrounded by stuff I don't know what to do with and there is so much of it. I'm not a social person, so the part where you show stuff to groups and go on forums just gives me anxiety. I also live a small flat so I don't have much room. I just feel like everything I do end sup being work and I get exhausted. I can't take holidays without things to do as I don't understand the relaxing sitting around part. I need to study or work out. Does anyone else go through this?
Thank you. You've actually help a lot. I hate taking time off as I know I have to find something to do. I'm still just trying to piece myself together. I get burnt out a lot and know I need a break, but the thought scares me unless I do something. Never known why, and it's why I can't go on holiday with other people. The idea of been force is good though, but I don't know anyone that strong!
I can relate to the not being able to sit around and relax. In fact I think if I won a free beach holiday where all you do is relax, I would not go (I only go on hiking holidays). I have had two main special interests for years - science and hiking. Due to the nature of these interests, I struggle less with the "what next" issue as there is always some new development in science, a new paper to read or a new project to pursue. Similarly with the hiking, there are endless trips to dream about and plan (though I have now been injured for a while and not been able to pursue this interest).
I have never been able to cope with being "unproductive", however I have been forced to stop and take an actual break now as I ended up completely burnt out and in a bad physical condition. I would probably not have taken a break if I hadn't been forced to, as I always need something to focus on and an interest/ goal to pursue (usually one at a time as I cannot really multitask).
I wish I could offer some advice but I can't as I haven't figured this out myself yet...