Published on 12, July, 2020
HI there All
I am married to an amazing woman who I love dearly and she has ASD. We have 2 children, a fantastic home, great life and everything on the surface seems to be rosey but unfortunately despite our best efforts we are not making each other happy. In fact we are at the point where we both have doubts that we even want to continue our relationship.
Our marriage is at a point now where we both see that we need to get help to manage our differences to stand any chance of moving our family forward together.
What I am looking for is a recommendation of a Mediation Service that would be able to help us navigate forward but that has an understanding of ASD, a mediator with no experience or understanding of ASD would not be able to give us the support that we need and my wife deserves.
I am desperate for us to find the help we need as I think that we're both still hoping that we can be together, not only for the happiness of our 2 young children but more importantly for ourselves...any recommendations will be gratefully received.
NAS38797 said:I am desperate for us to find the help we need as I think that we're both still hoping that we can be together, not only for the happiness of our 2 young children but more importantly for ourselves...any recommendations will be gratefully received.
I think the fact that you are both trying to communicate and merge together to find an equal plain of understanding is love and commitment. It also shows maturity and self reflective abilities that both of you are willing to admit your short comings and work together to live as best you both can.
Thank you for your post. It is men like you (and many on here) that I admire for your love and effort to other human beings. You are both a credit to human society and give me hope of finding something to work towards.
One thing I feel for sure about your post is this:
If you are both able to stay together or not, you have given it a damn good try and for that you will be proud because it takes a lot of effort. I think when both parties are trying to make a go of it, it's more likely to work. It doesn't work if it's one sided no matter how hard that one person tries as it burns you out. I was married for 8 years and together for 10 but we were too different for it to ever work because his difficult traits made my negative traits worse and vice versa. We couldn't accept the perceived difficulties in each other but it taught me a lot about what I really need in a relationship because it is the core of who I am. I learnt that love can be hidden but still be there. It taught me that communication and understanding in each partner needs to happen no matter how difficult. My poor husband could not talk about the things that needed to be talked about. I felt because of this I was losing myself in the process. It is still painful for me 10 years later because I put my heart and soul into that marriage and it failed. He blamed himself and I blamed myself. I think that it was nobodys fault and that it's a matter of finding and building a friendship bridge together that you both repair together through time. If the repairs do not get done, the bridge will fall but sometimes you can find ways of rebuilding the bridge in a way neither one had thought of.
Sending you loads of luck and best wishes.
thank you
If the repairs do not get done, the bridge will fall but sometimes you can find ways of rebuilding the bridge in a way neither one had thought of.
that strikes a real chord!