Mediation service with ASD experience

Thanks guys..That book is on order now, I hope it helps me understand the woman I love more and gives me the tools or understanding that I need to help me start to close the gap between us. As the NT I know that I am able to 'flex' more easily and I will do as much as I can to.

I hope so too.  It's not directly about relationship management but it's about managing your mind and your thoughts.  If you're new to it you'll go thro it thinking "well, yeah ... but what the hell has it got to do with my specific issue?".  I did that.  But I went into it with an open mind, and in time, for me it just helped me to calm down, put things in perspective, realise that certain things actually don't matter that much, and manage the points where I'm triggered or on the brink of a meltdown.  It also helps me sleep better (and that improves EVERYTHING)!   

PersonAnon I cannot thank you enough. Just the time that you have taken to respond to my initial message is a gift! This is going to sound ridiculous but hearing someone else speak about the subject of ASD in plain and simple terms has literally changed my life tonight!

This is a seminal moment, right up there with the birth of my children, the first time i convinced a girl to let me put my hand up her jumper and the realisation my wife is ASD! Tomorrow will be different to today.

Suddenly it's very real, it's not just my wife and I in our little bubble of a Man that is possibly the most emotionally demonstrative person alive (I don't just wear my heart on my sleeve...my heart and emotions are the meat and potatoes of my entire life) and a woman that struggles to demonstrate the love that I know is there it is something that other are dealing with day in day out and seem to making it work (you say you're 40 years in).

Thank you for your counsel, I owe you a pint!

That's a really nice reply ... had an early night so only just seen it.  Thank you so much. 

I just hope the book works for you. 

In my case, I had to force my mind open, a little, because I really wasn't a 'weave your own yoghurt' type.

Mindfulness is probably not for everyone, and it took me quite a while to 'get it', but as it turns out, after putting-in some effort, it pretty much helped every aspect of my life, a bit, and anything that changes everything, a bit, has a radical cumulative effect, when you put it all together.

I'm on here for two reasons - to help other people, which I try hard to do in my own small, unqualified way, by sharing experience; and to learn from the experience of others, which I have done. So it's a two way thing.   

There's nothing easy about any of this, and I know from my own direct experience that autism is as much of a challenge for loving partners as it is for the person who is diagnosed.

People like you, who work at it, think about it, talk to others, and seek solutions are more likely than most to come out on top of it.  But because all autistic people are different, and 'present' differently, we all have to work out our own, individual ways of dealing with a neurotypical world.

For me, two things were more important than anything in getting to grips with it - firstly, what we've been discussing here (Mindfulness); and secondly actually knowing stuff about autism. Because when I started on this journey I was as ignorant about it as it was possible for a sentient being to be.

I really wish you all the best with it, and thanks for that kind reply!

That's a really nice reply ... had an early night so only just seen it.  Thank you so much. 

I just hope the book works for you. 

In my case, I had to force my mind open, a little, because I really wasn't a 'weave your own yoghurt' type.

Mindfulness is probably not for everyone, and it took me quite a while to 'get it', but as it turns out, after putting-in some effort, it pretty much helped every aspect of my life, a bit, and anything that changes everything, a bit, has a radical cumulative effect, when you put it all together.

I'm on here for two reasons - to help other people, which I try hard to do in my own small, unqualified way, by sharing experience; and to learn from the experience of others, which I have done. So it's a two way thing.   

There's nothing easy about any of this, and I know from my own direct experience that autism is as much of a challenge for loving partners as it is for the person who is diagnosed.

People like you, who work at it, think about it, talk to others, and seek solutions are more likely than most to come out on top of it.  But because all autistic people are different, and 'present' differently, we all have to work out our own, individual ways of dealing with a neurotypical world.

For me, two things were more important than anything in getting to grips with it - firstly, what we've been discussing here (Mindfulness); and secondly actually knowing stuff about autism. Because when I started on this journey I was as ignorant about it as it was possible for a sentient being to be.

I really wish you all the best with it, and thanks for that kind reply!