Published on 12, July, 2020
Introducing myself on a particularly bleak day. My son is three and newly diagnosed. He is non-verbal and we’re trying to do PECS.
My son screams. He screams and screams at 5am when he wakes up. He screams when he is told to do something he’d rather not - brushing teeth, stop playing with toys, going to bed. Just high pitched, blood curdling screams.
Please tell me it gets easier. I know my family now have a different path and I’ve come to accept it.
But god, the every day stuff has to get easier. It’s such a joyless grind sometimes.
Would love to hear from other parents who have experienced similar issues. And maybe something optimistic? ️
Thanks for the practical advice. Would be so good to hear from parents with a similar situation to mine though.
Hi
I would advice caution when dealing with things ABA based, like the method decribed here
Catlover said:I did a google search, and found this https://autismchaostocalm.com/how-i-reduced-screaming-and-verbal-stimming-in-my-child-with-autism/
During my time on this forum I read many negative comments about those methods applied on autistic children. Something similar was done to me, my parents chose peace and quiet over me, and I am still unable, at 42, to deal with aftereffects of that trauma.
But
After countless hours spent searching for websites about autistic, I was lucky to find one last week that is not written by doctors, or other non autistic people.
https://autistic-village.com/2021/09/02/skills-for-learning-the-autistic-way/
by autistic and about autistic based on their experiences. I am still reading through it but at last something meaningful. Websites made by doctors, or other non autistic people contain only observations, without insight on what is actually happening inside our heads, and no 3 year old is going to be able to explain that to you.
So
Here is what I found about ABA on that website
And
I would say there are countless reasons why he might be doing it, you did not provide enough details to be able to even guess. It might be reaction to an oversensitive sense, or part of learning process he developed in his attempts to speak if he has, like me, speech and/or sound recognition problems, when brain does not process it correctly
I would contact people from autistic village, but surely more details will be neccessary.
Thank you for your reply. The community here is very caring towards this new generation of autistic children. I am so sorry your childhood was marred in this way and please believe that I love my son and in no way am trying to punish him for being who he is.
In an ideal world he would be left to scream to his heart’s content but we don’t live in one. He at best, irritates and at worst, enrages others. Yes, of course parents want peace and quiet but we fear for our children and want them to be safe from harm and ridicule. I also have other children who deserve to grow up in a peaceful household.
I will explore therapies available to us and hope for something to address his anxieties and those of my family.