Hello, middle-age & ASD.

Hello folks,

Am not really sure where to start, so let's start with the basics.

I'm a 49-year-old man, I've always known that I was a bit 'different', never made any friends at school, I was the loner, in a trance; staring out of the window.

Have always been incredibly introverted, cannot hold a discussion as I just switch off, resulting in long pauses where I would think to myself “is it my turn to speak?”, as such I find it incredibly difficult getting to know anybody and rely on my brother a lot, I do have one or two close friends, and they accept me for who I am, quirks and all.

It all came to a head a few years back, I was employed in IT; one of my colleagues was speaking to me about his laptop, and commented on my inability to maintain eye contact, I much prefer to look off to the side as eye contact makes me incredibly anxious, this is when I began to research and came to the conclusion that I am likely on the spectrum.

I took some online tests linked via this site and came back with a score of 44, In previous tests I have received scores of 40 – 46.

Recently had a discussion with a counsellor in order to attempt to address my anxiety, luckily, he had some experience helping people with Asperger’s and after a brief chat he advised me to contact my doctor, in the hopes of being referred for assessment.

My doctor is calling me tomorrow, and I’ve been absolutely filled with dread that my doctor will brush this off.

For me a referral would mean the opportunity to make sense of my childhood/adult life.

Apologies, this may read as slightly disjointed; I just wanted to say ‘Hello’.