Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello folks,
Am not really sure where to start, so let's start with the basics.
I'm a 49-year-old man, I've always known that I was a bit 'different', never made any friends at school, I was the loner, in a trance; staring out of the window.
Have always been incredibly introverted, cannot hold a discussion as I just switch off, resulting in long pauses where I would think to myself “is it my turn to speak?”, as such I find it incredibly difficult getting to know anybody and rely on my brother a lot, I do have one or two close friends, and they accept me for who I am, quirks and all.
It all came to a head a few years back, I was employed in IT; one of my colleagues was speaking to me about his laptop, and commented on my inability to maintain eye contact, I much prefer to look off to the side as eye contact makes me incredibly anxious, this is when I began to research and came to the conclusion that I am likely on the spectrum.
I took some online tests linked via this site and came back with a score of 44, In previous tests I have received scores of 40 – 46.
Recently had a discussion with a counsellor in order to attempt to address my anxiety, luckily, he had some experience helping people with Asperger’s and after a brief chat he advised me to contact my doctor, in the hopes of being referred for assessment.
My doctor is calling me tomorrow, and I’ve been absolutely filled with dread that my doctor will brush this off.
For me a referral would mean the opportunity to make sense of my childhood/adult life.
Apologies, this may read as slightly disjointed; I just wanted to say ‘Hello’.
That's good news, good luck with the future.
Hi Goldberry here.
I have recently got my diagnosis after many years or mis-diagnosis, and people not understanding me, including my Dr. I can tell you that I feel relieved that at last there is a reason for my foibles and the way I behave I am an Aspie.
I would encourage you to pursue a diagnosis, but be very factual. Statistically it is easier for males to be diagnosed than women, so you should be fine. Don't be put off or let the Dr fob you off. Do your research and I wish you the very best of luck.
I have spoken to my doctor, unfortunately; could not get a face to face appointment and had to put my case forward over the phone. I was incredibly anxious beforehand and this compounded during the call, but I managed to convey to my doctor why I should be referred.
Not only that, but I think it was at the point where I mentioned I had a page of notes jotted down that she laughed, interrupted me and commented that my request was reasonable considering, and that she would refer me.
So, it's now just a waiting game?
Thank you to everyone who responded to my original post; it did help to read through them...
Hiya. As others here said, my advice would be to write it down, if you can. Looks like this is too late for you so I hope it went well, but perhaps it may help someone else reading the thread.
Depends on the GP but appointments can be rushed, & filled with misplaced and sometimes tangential questions based on false assumptions, which dominate the conversation & use up the available time, so you leave feeling you've failed to convey essential information. You don't get time to think before another off-topic question is fired at you.
Writing it down helps to order your own thoughts & focus the conversation; keep it really, really brief.
I handed over a tightly-written bullet point list - that worked for me, anyway.
I wrote it, then went thro making it shorter, then did that again and again. It was an 'agenda' for the discussion & kept it on track.
Wishing you well.
Did you get a referral?
Welcome to the forum. You're in good company. I'm 49 (soon to be 50). Late diagnosis. It's the beginning of a journey of trials and tribulations, lows and highs and joys and sorrows.
ok i will send u a friend request so i can then send u a invite link ----- all the people there are also members of this forum
i picked u at random
No, but I used chat rooms years ago related to depression or social anxiety.
I have difficulties with chat rooms though, as I struggle to keep conversations going.
I might give it a go, as I'm in a difficult situation and isolated.
have u used Discord ( type of chat room ) ?
yes that was me
Its common for autistic people to not be fully aware of themselves, so not surprising. We may self-identify an obvious difficulty like social anxiety, but be less aware (or oblivious) of other things.
i went for a diagnosis of social anxiety and came away with an autism diagnosis. I was kinda shocked.
I too am a 49 year old man, and similar. I was diagnosed at 43, my partner suspected autism and so did my support worker. Before that, I had a diagnosis of social anxiety but that didn't explain it all. I get lost in my own thoughts or deeply into special interests. I worked in IT for 7 years, and electronics 6 years before that, both involved my special interests so it was great, but I struggled with people and suffered workplace bullying, and in the end was out of my depth in more ways than one and I crashed. I didn't know autism then, and just saw my GP about my problems with talking and socialising, in the end was diagnosed with social anxiety, which I accepted. But I wasn't aware of my other difficulties then, like poor eye-contact, or memory difficulties, and anxiety.
Anyway, write down your difficulties/reasoning down so you can read it all out when the GP calls. A referral is important, so push for it - be assertive that you need it.
And, Hello.
the younger the better
Welcome, I find with Doctor's it can be pot luck on their understanding of autism. If for some reason you don't get a referral, keep trying, even if you have to go to a different Doctor.
you're on the correct path
make a list of reasons why u think u may be autistic and bring it/have it ready for your meeting with your GP