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Newly diagnosed 10 year old son. Help

Twistydegu

Hi all,

I have a 10 year old son, who has just been diagnosed as having Aspergers, Friday 8th March. A year ago he was diagnosed as having sensory processing disorders. It has taken a long time for this diagnosis, we were first told he has social anxiety about 4 years ago.

I always knew it was more and kept notes of his behaviours. We got diagnosed as a result of me pushing for a speech and language therapist, first he had to have a hearing test which we found out he has hyper acuisis, after a thorough talk with peaditirician, she sent us to Occupational therapist who then diagnosed the SPD. we then went back to doctors who with him, the OT report and the school referred us to CAMHS. Over a year later we finally have a diagnosis.

My son has lots of worries and anxieties daily, has regular meltdowns at home (not school), struggles with friends are amongst some.  The worries are so bad i have the same questions daily, he especially worries when not with me, where i am,what im doing, will i be on time, will i forget to pick him up etc.

If anyone has any support or ideas to help with the worries, it would be a great help. We do not know where we should go next or what we should do.

Any advice or help is greatly appreciated.

 

 

  • hi helena 80,

    How did you tell your son, we are not sure how to tell him. Weve just had another appointment with Camhs, they have suggested we try and talk to him and see what autism means to him, however when i try and talk to him about sensory processing he avoids or gets angry and runs off,  and he doesnt want to know. H knows he has SPD but not the aspergers, its like hes in denial. When at the park, i was talking to another parent whos child has autism, she asked him to play with her child, he said no and ran off, i approached and said that would be really nice to play he just got angry and sat under the climbing frame, i think its avoidance.

    Do you have suggestions on how i could approach the subject.

    Thanks

  • Hi this sounds just like my son, also 10 yrs old. We got a diagnoses of autism and social anxiety 3 years ago and my youngest son age 5 was diagnosed with aspergers and demand avoidance behaviour last year. My eldest son has never liked school,  he wont go to clubs or parties or anyone's house etc. He is awarw of his diagnosis and does try to use it as an excuse for bad behaviour although his behaviour at school is exemplary,  he's very quiet and is progressing well but has no friends which upsets him, he doesn't know how to be social so finds play times very stressful. Im sorry I don't have any answers for you as I'm looking for advice too. Oh and he also complains of tummy ache, feeling sick and headaches regularly too but doctors have reassured us there is nothing physically wrong with him and these are symptoms of anxiety x  

  • We have not told him of his aspergers diagnosis. we were unsure of whether to or not, as when we told him of his sensory processing dosorder, he got really depressed and down on himself. He kept saying he hates himself, he doesnt want to be different. im useless, i cant do anything.We explained that everybody is different and finds different things difficult, and highlighted what hes good at and how he had good hearing, sense of smelletc.  He often gets sad and has low self esteem. The doctor and teacher doesnt think we should tell him because of his anxieties.

  • Hi crystal12

    I dont know much about statements, but i thought the child has to have difficulties learning/ behaviour at school. He was being picked on, but everything is ok at the moment. The school is good as it has a autistic resource base attached, however i think they may concentrate on the more severe children with learning/ behaviour dfficulties. My sons main concerns are anxieties and worries at school and out of school. Who do i speak to about statements.

  • Hi. Has he being told of his diagnosis? Have someone explained to him what it means. I know from experience that as soon as you explain things to them ( without allowing them to use their diagnosis to avoid situations) they tend to relax a lot and understand themselves better (of course initially they tend to over react!!!)

  • Hi again - yes - from reading the posts on here for a while now a number of children with aspergers present at school the same way as your son :  quiet, no trouble etc.  Then they get home + all the tensions they've held in all day spill out.  As he'll be going to secondary relatively soon I do think you need to think about a statement.  As I said before, secondary can prove more difficult.  It wd do no harm to look into it + see what's on offer.  Also + I may have interpretted your post wrongly, but is he being picked on at playtimes?  If so then the school needs to deal with that.  Is the school autism-aware?

  • Thanks crystal 12

    It was very hard, and very emoional too. Still is especially when he has one of his anxiety attacks and doesnt want to go to school. Im not sure if my son would need  a statement of educational needs, as he does not have any learnng difficulty, he is very quiet at school and no trouble at all. His teacher says he is making progress. I think it is mainly at play times, he struggles with friends and he says the other children let him play if he is 'it'. They all know he cant run very fast, or he has to be the slave, not the king.

    We have another year and a half before secondary, we have to get through the school day trips before that one, hopefully things will be better and in place for him to cope with the change.

  • Hi - good that you finally got a diagnosis.   Sounds like it was hard-going getting it.  Has your son got a statement of educational needs so that he can get the support he may need at school?  There are a lot of posts on here about children finding mainstream school difficult.  Sometimes the child's "behaviour" appears ok at school but then a meltdown occurs once home.  School can be very tough for them.  When they move up into secondary it can be even tougher.  That's why I ask about the statement.  Anxieties crop up very regularly either via parents posts or posts from those on the spectrum.  Also, via the nas home pg, you'll find loads of info so have a look there if you haven't already.  It's good that you've come here - there's lots of support from people who understand.