Published on 12, July, 2020
I hate introductions. Or more precisely I dislike having to describe myself. My sense of self is not strong. Hello NAS forum. I have lurked for a few days, but making an effort to join in because I need to start understanding myself through the lens of autism. I was diagnosed (in my mid-thirties) in 2020 after a very long journey through various assessments to find an explanation for cognitive and social issues I had been having. I don't know (or don't know that I know) any autistic people, and I think I need to have contact with the like-minded.I am still not 100% comfortable regarding myself as autistic. This isn't an issue with stigma, but instead because I am not always sure I fit the profile. I have a variety of issues, some of which are explained readily by autism, but in other instances I seem very atypical. I worry that when I access resources, or tap into support for autism, that I will take resources from people who need it more. Or perhaps, if such a thing could exist, have imposter syndrome surrounding being autistic. A lot of this stems from the key issue that affects me day-to-day; my memory. I have information recall problems, and was first diagnosed and then undiagnosed with ADHD (long story) in a search to figure out that particular issue with my brain. So far, the lens of autism has not given me insight into this issue, but it hasn't been long since my diagnosis so we'll see.Here's a non-exhaustive list of hobbies/interests of mine:Star Trek, Stargate, and science fiction in general. Games of all sorts: Video Games, Board Games, Megagames, Tabletop Roleplaying Games (I am also a fan of Critical Role), and miniatures/models. Art (particularly related to games of all sorts) including 3D sculpting (ZBrush) and illustration. And some other things about me:I'm a gay cisgendered man (pronouns he/him), currently in a long term relationship, in my mid thirties, and I work as a Product Designer in web software (until two years ago before which I was a QA Engineer).
Forming habits is hard for me, and when I've signed up to forums in the past it hasn't lasted, but I will make special effort here. I hope to be able to stay around long enough to contribute more than I receive.If you got this far, thanks for reading.
Hi
I have just read your post and felt like I had to sign up to say I completely relate to this! My husband wanted me to start looking at online communities because he thought I would benefit from seeing that I am not alone in how I am feeling and I’m starting to think he was right :) I was diagnosed in 2016 and have had the same feeling of not wanting to take resources from other people and ended up really isolating myself. I really wanted to join a support group to try and make friends but I was too worried about not not fitting in.
Anyway I suppose I just wanted to say thank you because seeing your post helped me feel a bit better about moving forward.
In that case, this response alone reassures me it was worth it (and you're welcome). I suppose it's the idea behind a community, and I've no doubt that if we hang around enough we'll find other people with whom we can find common ground and like-mindedness.
I echo what moon suggests, though, that you change your profile name to something a little easier to remember/distinguish. I imagine it's easier for everyone on here to get to know you that way. The NAS numbers are easily mistaken, I feel.
I hate imagining names for myself. I think I have issues with names in general.. All I did was look at my NAS number and think what does this remind me of. It looked like a Star Trek starship registry number so I looked up the closest one to my number, which was the Bellerophon. It helped that there was a coincidence in that I'd used that same ship/name in a TTRPG session before too, so it felt like a nice coincidence.
Welcome. Please consider a more approachable profile name than NASxxx