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A reluctant introduction

Bellerophon
over 2 years ago

I hate introductions. Or more precisely I dislike having to describe myself. My sense of self is not strong.

Hello NAS forum. I have lurked for a few days, but making an effort to join in because I need to start understanding myself through the lens of autism. I was diagnosed (in my mid-thirties) in 2020 after a very long journey through various assessments to find an explanation for cognitive and social issues I had been having. I don't know (or don't know that I know) any autistic people, and I think I need to have contact with the like-minded.

I am still not 100% comfortable regarding myself as autistic. This isn't an issue with stigma, but instead because I am not always sure I fit the profile. I have a variety of issues, some of which are explained readily by autism, but in other instances I seem very atypical. I worry that when I access resources, or tap into support for autism, that I will take resources from people who need it more. Or perhaps, if such a thing could exist, have imposter syndrome surrounding being autistic.

A lot of this stems from the key issue that affects me day-to-day; my memory. I have information recall problems, and was first diagnosed and then undiagnosed with ADHD (long story) in a search to figure out that particular issue with my brain. So far, the lens of autism has not given me insight into this issue, but it hasn't been long since my diagnosis so we'll see.

Here's a non-exhaustive list of hobbies/interests of mine:
Star Trek, Stargate, and science fiction in general. Games of all sorts: Video Games, Board Games, Megagames, Tabletop Roleplaying Games (I am also a fan of Critical Role), and miniatures/models. Art (particularly related to games of all sorts) including 3D sculpting (ZBrush) and illustration.

And some other things about me:
I'm a gay cisgendered man (pronouns he/him), currently in a long term relationship, in my mid thirties, and I work as a Product Designer in web software (until two years ago before which I was a QA Engineer).

Forming habits is hard for me, and when I've signed up to forums in the past it hasn't lasted, but I will make special effort here. I hope to be able to stay around long enough to contribute more than I receive.

If you got this far, thanks for reading.

Parents
  • over 2 years ago

    Welcome. I too feel like I'm sometimes not "autistic enough" but if you have help offered to you, you should take this. The reason I say this is that I would like some help myself but don't know how to access it. I have imposter syndrome sometimes too.

  • over 2 years ago in reply to out_of_place

    I think this is part of why I sought out a place like this, both to be helped but also to help. I am new to this place, but if there are things I can do to help, even if just being an ear to listen, let me know. Though I feel like supportive ears and voices are not in short supply here.

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  • over 2 years ago in reply to out_of_place

    I think this is part of why I sought out a place like this, both to be helped but also to help. I am new to this place, but if there are things I can do to help, even if just being an ear to listen, let me know. Though I feel like supportive ears and voices are not in short supply here.

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