Understanding my new partner

Hi

I hope this is the right forum but I was looking for some support on understanding my new partner of 6mths

We meet regularly, primarily around their hectic schedule and recently I have started to -

— understand that things I would like us to do together may not happen, they show interest in wanting to do some of the things I suggest but it never happens. This is not something I cannot deal with as I have a social network myself to do these things with, but I was starting to take it personally, that they were not interested in doing these things with me. Or visiting my home or prioritising me over their usual activities.

after some conversation I am starting to understand that maybe planning outside of our usual routine simply may be difficult and it’s not about avoiding doing those things with me, but about finding it hard to prioritise the needs of someone else ahead of them self and/or finding it hard to consider something outside a usual routine and/or understanding what might be important to me. I am finding peace with that.

— understand that sometimes not being able to sit with me because this interrupts a usual habit again, is not an avoidance of me but a “need” to have to stick to routine and habits. This made me feel hurt on a couple of occasions but I think I am understanding it better now. I also am non intrusive or demanding in or outside his company and we are respectful of each other’s lives and boundaries.

 I want to maintain this relationship because he is a kind and loving person who accepts me for who I am and vice versa and our time together is lovely. I also am independent and do not need to be in a relationship where we are by each other’s side doing everything together 24/7, but it is also difficult for me to sometimes not take personally how they may react to me and to feel I am valued, although he clearly behaves and states he cares for me. My point being that it is also an adjustment for me to accept some of the things I would like us to do together may never happen. Although we do enjoy what we do do together. I also am beginning to feel that if he has chosen to spend so much time with me despite the fact he finds socialising difficult, says a lot.

 I am sorry that is all so long and doesn’t really make the point of what I am looking for in reply. I guess I would like to know what to expect and also to feel supported at times I may feel frustrated or confused by their behaviour. Much as I know he cares for me I also feel he probably would not miss me if I never saw him again and that can be difficult to accept (albeit I am making assumptions).

 I am interested to know how other people navigate the differences in communication and comprehension and missing someone when you maybe cannot see them as much as you would like to because of their set routines.

if you managed to read and digest that, Thankyou