Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with ASC, or ASD, this February at the age of 59. I also have a few other comorbidities thrown in for good measure. So now I have a new identity, as an Autist, which is an interesting phenomenon at my age. However, I am still the same person I always was, and, ironically, I was always autistic. The diagnosis was liberating, it gave me insight into why I have always had certain difficulties and limitations; and also allowed me to forgive myself for some failings. I am not a rather ill-adjusted and awkward neurotypical, but an autistic person who has worked rather effectively at adjusting to a world that is quite hostile to me.
I only wish that I had been aware of adult autism traits much earlier. I was only aware of the 'Rain Man'/'Sheldon Cooper' stereotypes before, completely by chance, I happened to stumble across a description of autistic traits and identified very many with my own characteristics.
As a potted biography, I am married with two children; I worked in bio-medical research in two universities for 24 years, and was then a manager of scientific facilities in a university research institute for another 10 years, before taking early retirement last year.
Hi Martin
Welcome aboard.
I'm the same - ended up in high-tech so managed to do very well into my 40s thinking everyone was like me - all working for the common good - and that hard work would be rewarded.
I did the same - married, family, mortgage etc.
Only figured it all out after diagnosis.
I'm nearer to Mr Data from STNG.
Thanks. I just assumed that everyone else was struggling and having to put enormous effort into day-to-day social stuff, but were just better at hiding it than me.
Martin - this absolutely nails it for me too.
I've said something really similar to my partner a lot lately... "I thought everyone experienced the same things I do, but I was choosing to struggle." While this mindset motivated me to find ways to feel better and cope better, it has ultimately resulted in very low confidence and led to burnout lasting a few years.
It's great to know the truth, to be armed with the facts, so we can move forward with better understanding now. I have really enjoyed being able to think through future scenarios and remember things that can support me (autistic support tools like ear defenders, stimming, routines) in showing up in the best way possible to important things. It's also nice to feel better about turning out down invitations when needed, without the harmful self judgment I used to feel.