Hi.

Hello,

I'm not sure if I am doing the right thing or how to approach this. I guess saying hi is the best way to start, so Hi!

I'm a woman in my 40s. I have been with my autistic partner for two years he also struggles with OCD.

I'm really starting to struggle with my relationship. I love him very much and do not want to get online and bash him, as I really believe he is a good person and has demonstrated so many times that he has my best interests at heart. He's one of the smartest people I have ever met. He is creative, practical and sensible. But at the same time I'm really starting to feel hurt, irrelevant, and lonely. I'd love to be able to talk to people who might be able to help me address this with him. Any attempts I have made so far have been somewhat clumsy. He gets upset if he thinks he has hurt my feelings, but he also gets frustrated when I can't make myself understood, which in turn makes me feel more isolated. 

I feel strange going into detail on a forum. I know my inability to make myself understood is a big part of this problem. The things he does, whilst sometimes hurtful, I know are not meant as such and I feel like if I was able to explain effectively, we could sort it out fairly easily. I don't think he realises quite how unhappy I am, and I know if he did, he would be upset. He deserves better. My last partner was horrible. He took so much away from me, and my current partner has been so supportive and patient with me in that respect. He helped build me back up.

Still, because I came out of an abusive relationship, I find it very hard to know how to address issues with my current partner. I find it stressful and scary, and I always inevitably end up making things worse. I don't know what to do.