Suicide

Hi Myosotis. Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay. If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. I have popped in some other links below for you incase you need them:

If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service: http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.

If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support. You can find more information here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

Hope this helps,

SarahMod

Hi Sarah, many thanks for your reply... No, I am not OK and by now also struggling with health problems caused by all the stress, and seeing my last good years slipping away from me and not knowing what to do to make things better, not knowing what I would do on my own even if I am a very strong person who has found a way through so many times in life. I am just so tired.... We moved to England when the first Lockdown started, from Wales, live very isolated and if there are times when I manage to get everything back on track (always me) and we try to restart our lives with a smile on our faces, I start singing again, start making plans, we start making our music videos, audition, etc, it doesn't take a lot to get me down anymore, because I am so very tired. He doesn't understand that, doesn't see things going downhill while i still try to keep on the top of things and manage our lives as well as I possibly can. 

Telling someone about it... I spent months last year going through the motions with our GP (who has now moved on so no one knows us), Mind and all the other organizations, trying to alert everybody about what was going on here, even that I was being gaslighted and wasn't copying, Samaritans, the lot. Over and over again we were offered therapy costing huge amounts of money, I was assessed and the demonour was so very cold... There was a very nice lady who called me a few times to be sure that I was still doing OK but she told me that she was also seeking support but despite being in the mental health service after almost a year she hadn't found what she needed, that shows how bad the situation is. Thanks for the links but, they do nothing at all. I could tell you horrible stories. I wrote a diary through lockdown, our tenancy problems and the problems with my husband, which I think shows the dire state of the mental health in England, which is no better or worse than in Wales. I can't stand hearing the Royals go on and on about the need of talking, to whom? I now have again someone from Mind who called once and will call again today but... just someone who has no idea about these issues, probably a volunteer (I know that he is not a therapist or anything). He just gives me links and I would have to go through the whole system again while our lives crumble to pieces. We moved here for more work opportunities, much higher bills, work dried up and I haven't been in a state to do much anyway, so this has made our financial situation far worse. My professional slot at almost 64 is short but I could really do great things, just I depend on him for that. 

I feel that the partners are left in the cold, no one cares about us. People like my husband they lead quite fulfilling lives because he doesn't really realise what is going on. What is in his mind is a very fulfilling relationship, he is a great husband... what he doesn't realize is that what he shows is completely different. He is very placid and he doesn't do anything with malice, highly educated and if you meet him you will like him a lot. people who know us on social media see us as the golden couple, not because we lie but because we put our artistic work out there which is quite good and on paper he is very loving, very romantic... just emotionally I am left out in the cold by someone I don't even manage to communicate with. 

Ongoing support? There isn't any............... As someone said here there comes a time when death feels like the end of the suffering, like comfort, not something scary! Such a waste of life..... Thanks for listening! 

Hi Sarah, many thanks for your reply... No, I am not OK and by now also struggling with health problems caused by all the stress, and seeing my last good years slipping away from me and not knowing what to do to make things better, not knowing what I would do on my own even if I am a very strong person who has found a way through so many times in life. I am just so tired.... We moved to England when the first Lockdown started, from Wales, live very isolated and if there are times when I manage to get everything back on track (always me) and we try to restart our lives with a smile on our faces, I start singing again, start making plans, we start making our music videos, audition, etc, it doesn't take a lot to get me down anymore, because I am so very tired. He doesn't understand that, doesn't see things going downhill while i still try to keep on the top of things and manage our lives as well as I possibly can. 

Telling someone about it... I spent months last year going through the motions with our GP (who has now moved on so no one knows us), Mind and all the other organizations, trying to alert everybody about what was going on here, even that I was being gaslighted and wasn't copying, Samaritans, the lot. Over and over again we were offered therapy costing huge amounts of money, I was assessed and the demonour was so very cold... There was a very nice lady who called me a few times to be sure that I was still doing OK but she told me that she was also seeking support but despite being in the mental health service after almost a year she hadn't found what she needed, that shows how bad the situation is. Thanks for the links but, they do nothing at all. I could tell you horrible stories. I wrote a diary through lockdown, our tenancy problems and the problems with my husband, which I think shows the dire state of the mental health in England, which is no better or worse than in Wales. I can't stand hearing the Royals go on and on about the need of talking, to whom? I now have again someone from Mind who called once and will call again today but... just someone who has no idea about these issues, probably a volunteer (I know that he is not a therapist or anything). He just gives me links and I would have to go through the whole system again while our lives crumble to pieces. We moved here for more work opportunities, much higher bills, work dried up and I haven't been in a state to do much anyway, so this has made our financial situation far worse. My professional slot at almost 64 is short but I could really do great things, just I depend on him for that. 

I feel that the partners are left in the cold, no one cares about us. People like my husband they lead quite fulfilling lives because he doesn't really realise what is going on. What is in his mind is a very fulfilling relationship, he is a great husband... what he doesn't realize is that what he shows is completely different. He is very placid and he doesn't do anything with malice, highly educated and if you meet him you will like him a lot. people who know us on social media see us as the golden couple, not because we lie but because we put our artistic work out there which is quite good and on paper he is very loving, very romantic... just emotionally I am left out in the cold by someone I don't even manage to communicate with. 

Ongoing support? There isn't any............... As someone said here there comes a time when death feels like the end of the suffering, like comfort, not something scary! Such a waste of life..... Thanks for listening! 

Thanks!!!!! 

You too, take care.

Many thanks................................. same to you.... Life can be so tough but I am glad that I have met you all and that we can try to help one another!Take care............... 

So sorry you're going through a really dreadful time.