Published on 12, July, 2020
I know that this is a difficult subject but I would like to know if anyone here, in a relationship with an autistic person, has been driven to the brink of suicide? It would do me good to talk.... That said, my husband hasn't been diagnosed and probably never will be, because he can't start to see that he might have it or what it does to me, but he does have a lot of the traits. I have tried to make use of articles about what partners go through but that overwhelms him, he talked to his GP and was put on anti-depressants but stopped.... I think that we are at the end of our relationship but I don't see a way to go on.
Anti depressents are terrible they are a Band-Aid to a bigger problem. It numbs you but doesn't help if he doesn't want to seek help he won't get better or try improve himself. You can only lead a horse to water.
Where are these antid's that actually numb you? I need them, i need a lot of them.
Hi LetMeFly, you are so right... I now refuse to take anti-depressants. I am adding to the problem but I am not the problem! My husband was put on anti-depressants and he seemed to sleep better and therefore was less tired and lightened up a bit but he stopped them without speaking neither to the GP or me. He does want to seek help although he is convinced that he doesn't have any problem. That is the worst part of all this. If one has a wound or a pain it is easy to see where it is.... autism (and I am convinced that he has autism even if a high functioning one and would have no problem illustrating it with real life examples) is something that is less easy for the person to recognize. I am also afraid that because he has no awareness even if we found help he would not be able to tell the therapist what is going on because he doesn't see most of it. Sometimes I just wish I could vanish in thin air and didn't have to deal with all of this. He has made a lot of effort and in a way we have made a lot of changes in our relationship but I look back at 5 years and I feel like his mentor, his teacher? I am jealous when I see couples on TV both talking normally, communicating... he is the highly educated one, a scientist, I didn't even finish high school but I am the one with great social skills. And on the top of everything else we came from Wales to England at the beginning of the first Lockdown and are completely isolated.
I know, you can only lead a horse to water but I have proven before in my life that I am so bad at giving up..... I did once, because I had three small children from another marriage, so there was no way I could stay but other than that... I don't give up before I have driven myself into the ground fighting. Somehow (and it is a known fact), I get myself into these relationships, maybe because I am the daughter of an autistic man and saw him making my Mum so very unhappy,, when she passed saw the same happen to my stepmum, who was driven into an early grave despite all my efforts to try to change the situation for them and that failing try to convince her to leave. Now it is me wasting away the last good years of my life. Feels so cruel... many thanks for your reply!!! I just wish i could find out how to get notifications in my inbox... did get some from a post where I gave a reply but nothing else! Nothing in the settings seems to change it!