Suicide

Hi Myosotis. Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay. If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support. I have popped in some other links below for you incase you need them:

If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service: http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.

If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support. You can find more information here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide 

Hope this helps,

SarahMod

Please bear in mind that all the standard advice about emergency management is really to pass responsibility elsewhere and everyone is keen to pass on responsibility.

Emergency care has not been shown to save lives, but can humiliate and increase risk.

samaritans are a listening ear and don’t give any advice. Their idea is to encourage you to work out your own solution , which can also be frustrating 

Both you and your husband need to decide whether you can live with each other and care for each other. Marriage guidance is my recommendation providing both of you can agree to go along with it.

sometimes separation is better than living with resentment and pain, but where would you go and how about consequences??

Please bear in mind that all the standard advice about emergency management is really to pass responsibility elsewhere and everyone is keen to pass on responsibility.

Emergency care has not been shown to save lives, but can humiliate and increase risk.

samaritans are a listening ear and don’t give any advice. Their idea is to encourage you to work out your own solution , which can also be frustrating 

Both you and your husband need to decide whether you can live with each other and care for each other. Marriage guidance is my recommendation providing both of you can agree to go along with it.

sometimes separation is better than living with resentment and pain, but where would you go and how about consequences??

Hi Dave, I fully agree with you!!! I have been trying to find help for the longest time, tried to commit suicide last December and it is a miracle that I am still here and surely not due to the good care I received! The lack of compassion is horrendous, they can see you in the worse distress ever but it is like they are made of ice and anyway, many are well-meaning volunteers who lend a listening ear but many times what one needs is someone who really takes over and knows what to do and what to say, not a very young person who is kind but has no idea what to do with the situation. I will be honest with you, volunteers often make things worse because if they didn't exist the government would have to find better solutions. This way it seems that the help is out there and it isn't. Also many organizations immediately say that they are charities, don't have funds but... if I can pay a lot of money they will be there for me. This is horrendous? I wrote a diary through Lockdown until I ended in the hospital before Christmas, then I stopped, I don't have the energy anymore and I just try to enjoy the bits of better times that we have but it would be interesting for someone to read it, also because it details the terrible tenancy problems we have had, which I also had to deal with on my own. 

The Samaritans, exactly the way you describe but how come no professional knows about it? I suppose you are not a professional and I surely am not but we both know they actually doesn't work, at least not in most cases? If I could find a solution on my own I would have done it a long time ago! God knows I have tried.... and tried, and tried.... I am intelligent, I have a lot of life experience, this is not my first marriage that fails because of such problems or similar ones... Sometimes I think that I know more than the experts but I still can't find a way to get through to him, not in a permanent way. But I don't seem to be able to give up either not only because of logistics but also because with him, if we find a way through, my life can be a rich one, without him i will have to give up on my music and the last dreams of my life (too long to explain in this reply but I can if you wish). 

Yes, I am sure that with good guidance we can stay together. I am also sure that we were on an important path, with our music and artistic endeavours. I am also sure that we would be happier for it rather than me at almost 64 and him at 69 now going out there and starting all over again but I don't know where to find that help, not one we can afford. If we had loads of money we would find help tomorrow. Yes, the way we live now will drive both of us into an early grave and the problem where to go doesn't apply to him, he drives, can find a suitable place in a less expensive area as he doesn't need to be near amenities but I do. Where we live now it is too expensive for me and too isolated, I don't know England and don't know anywhere so I could go anywhere but where? Back to Wales too many bad memories.... I don't know what to do and I wonder if there are other couples out there who found a solution. The guy from  Mind calls again this afternoon but I went through that last Summer with no practical results. I only agreed to speak to him because I thought that as this time it was someone who works with the surgery he would be some kind of counsellor but he is not, just someone who listens and who gives you liinks. Thanks for your reply, you did me a lot of good... great to know that there are others out there who see things the same way, know how the system works or doesn't work.. .even that is a great help, .Sometimes I think that I am going crazy! Funny enough with my ex-husband (diagnosed with BPD at the end of our marriage), money was no problem at all but we never managed to get good help and we both agreed that with the right guidance our marriage would have survived. That all makes this experience now so much more painful!