narcissistic relations bc we are too sweet

I think we have to be careful with this. Allow me to put on my big, grown-up, politically-correct hat for a moment.

The word narcissist gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture. And, like Nazi, which has become a go-to word to describe people we don't like or who don't agree with us, narcissist has also become the go-to word used to describe people who have wronged us or have acted (or continue to act) in a selfish manner towards us.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder and we should be careful about using it as an insult for people that we don't like or with whom we have had problems.

We use far too many terms for mental disorders as casual insults, and it causes a lot of stigma, pain and suffering for those of us with a mental illness.  It's okay to call someone's behaviour as selfish, arrogant or behaviour, but we should we be labelling them as narcissists unless we have medical evidence to back up our assertion? Probably not.

I'll take off my big, grown-up, politically-correct hat now. 

With my mother, it's more than just 'I don't like her' or 'I don't agree with her.' I'm afraid of her. I always have been because I've never known when she will turn nasty and hurt me. However nice I am to her, it is not good enough and she turns on me.

She is very charming and likeable (in public)...except when she is spiteful, angry and cruel (in private). When describing her behaviour some years ago, someone pointed me to the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers page and I was horrified to read a neat description of my mother there. I joined an online support group and our accounts of our mothers' behaviour are scarily the same. They say 'do we have the same mother? I could have written that word for word.' It's like the mothers have book of instructions on how to behave and what to say, it's very spooky and sounds like some kind of defined disorder.

I don't go round telling people that my mother is a narcissist, but I've just come to accept that she has some sort of mental condition that makes her behave cruelly to people, especially to her only child (me) and my family. Narcissism, BPD, bipolar, whatever... something is wrong.

I have read A LOT about narcissism and similar disorders now. Thanks to learning all this, I can now spot people who behave the same e.g. potential friends, colleagues etc, which has helped me greatly to navigate through life.

With my mother, it's more than just 'I don't like her' or 'I don't agree with her.' I'm afraid of her. I always have been because I've never known when she will turn nasty and hurt me. However nice I am to her, it is not good enough and she turns on me.

She is very charming and likeable (in public)...except when she is spiteful, angry and cruel (in private). When describing her behaviour some years ago, someone pointed me to the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers page and I was horrified to read a neat description of my mother there. I joined an online support group and our accounts of our mothers' behaviour are scarily the same. They say 'do we have the same mother? I could have written that word for word.' It's like the mothers have book of instructions on how to behave and what to say, it's very spooky and sounds like some kind of defined disorder.

I don't go round telling people that my mother is a narcissist, but I've just come to accept that she has some sort of mental condition that makes her behave cruelly to people, especially to her only child (me) and my family. Narcissism, BPD, bipolar, whatever... something is wrong.

I have read A LOT about narcissism and similar disorders now. Thanks to learning all this, I can now spot people who behave the same e.g. potential friends, colleagues etc, which has helped me greatly to navigate through life.