Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
I hope this isn’t inappropriate to post this here but I’m in need of some advice. I recently started dating someone who says they’re on the spectrum. We started chatting and immediately hit it off. We chatted every minute of every day, including texts, phone calls and video chats. We decided to meet each other in person and our meeting surpassed both our expectations. I don’t think I’ve ever connected with anyone the way I have with this person. However, after the weekend, things take a turn and there’s a breakdown in communication on their side. They describe it as an emotional comedown which I don’t think I really understand. They say they really like me and want to see me again but have gone quiet as they feel overwhelmed with these feelings for me. We’ve barely spoken and it’s been very upsetting for me as I feel they’re just not interested, despite them saying otherwise. Can someone give me some advice? Is this typical behaviour? If so, what can I do to make them feel more comfortable? I’m unsure as to what to do; whether to back off and give them some space or continue trying to talk to them. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I don’t want to walk away from something that has the potential to be very special and meaningful. However, I’m at a loss as to what to do and would love some advice x
Thank you. I think more than anything I just wanted to know whether this was typical behaviour. I’ve taken it personally and have felt that they don’t like me. I really like this person and things have been fantastic up until I went home. I don’t want to walk away from them as we have an undeniable connection. If I have to adapt and change the way I do things, then I’d rather that than lose someone I could potentially fall in love with.
If I were you I'd learn all about the effects of autism - especially our inability to process stress and anxiety. This often drains us more and more as we get older.
There's loads of threads on here about not being able to communicate with an older/undiagnosed ASD partner who has crumbled under the stress of life.
Best wishes - but proceed with caution - if they so stressed from one encounter, their life may be very chaotic.