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Would love some advice

KAF
over 3 years ago

Hello everyone,

I hope this isn’t inappropriate to post this here but I’m in need of some advice. I recently started dating someone who says they’re on the spectrum. We started chatting and immediately hit it off. We chatted every minute of every day, including texts, phone calls and video chats. We decided to meet each other in person and our meeting surpassed both our expectations. I don’t think I’ve ever connected with anyone the way I have with this person. However, after the weekend, things take a turn and there’s a breakdown in communication on their side. They describe it as an emotional comedown which I don’t think I really understand. They say they really like me and want to see me again but have gone quiet as they feel overwhelmed with these feelings for me. We’ve barely spoken and it’s been very upsetting for me as I feel they’re just not interested, despite them saying otherwise. Can someone give me some advice? Is this typical behaviour? If so, what can I do to make them feel more comfortable? I’m unsure as to what to do; whether to back off and give them some space or continue trying to talk to them. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I don’t want to walk away from something that has the potential to be very special and meaningful. However, I’m at a loss as to what to do and would love some advice x

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Yes - very typical.

    We often find socialising to be unbelievably hard work - some of us are able to do a mega-performance-  we can put on a show to be the very best version of us possible - but it comes at enormous cost - it literally burns us out - the light that burns twice as bright.....

    You friend probably does like you very much but has taken longer than they expected to recover from the exertion.     They may be surprised at the drain so be confused about whether they can actually commit to a full-on relationship.

    Don't pressure them - they may be able to see you as something calming rather than having to do a performance while with you - but you might also want to walk away - we can be very hard work.  Smiley.

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    Yes - very typical.

    We often find socialising to be unbelievably hard work - some of us are able to do a mega-performance-  we can put on a show to be the very best version of us possible - but it comes at enormous cost - it literally burns us out - the light that burns twice as bright.....

    You friend probably does like you very much but has taken longer than they expected to recover from the exertion.     They may be surprised at the drain so be confused about whether they can actually commit to a full-on relationship.

    Don't pressure them - they may be able to see you as something calming rather than having to do a performance while with you - but you might also want to walk away - we can be very hard work.  Smiley.

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