Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, my name is Chris.
I'm here because my 4 year old son was diagnosed with autism last week, and as they were going through the reasons why I kept thinking "But... I do that."
I realized two things, over the course of the session, that I had a totally wrong idea about what autism is (an idea largely grounded in 1990's stereotypes), and that I displayed a lot of autistic behavior and thought patterns myself.
I do not have an autism diagnosis. Heck, I just started learning about autism about a week ago. I don't know if it is ok to self-diagnose. I have no intention of seeking government assistance or anything, so I'm not sure an official diagnosis would even matter much. The only reason I might pursue one would be that it might be helpful for my son; he might feel less isolated when he learns about his diagnosis if his father can say "Yeah, me too..." and he might benefit from hearing about the strategies I have developed over the last 35 years to deal with the world.
On the other hand, I don't want to do the equivalent of treating a headache with a bandaid - applying a treatment for the wrong kind of problem. I always just thought of myself as "quirky" and if it isn't autism, my strategies for dealing with the world might not work for him... so I guess I am looking for a bit of a gut check? Also, trying to get a sense for how the community feels about self-diagnosis.
Some of the things that I resonated with that overlap with my son are: intense focus for LONG periods on things that interest me, an obliviousness to everything else when I am absorbed in something, difficulty changing quickly from one task to another, hyposensitivity and stimulus-seeking, strong desire for routine and distress at changing plans, difficulty making friends unless they share one of my interests, wanting to watch the same thing over and over (I watched Fight Club every day for an entire summer when I was in high school, and then about once a week for the next 3 years... for my son it is particular episodes of Dino Dan and Ninjago).
I also have a few quirks that my son doesn't have; I am dyslexic, I have insomnia, and I have dealt with depression (which I hope he will never have to deal with)
There are also a few things that make me think I might be imagining things... the DSM5 talks about "one or two" areas of intense interest, but I have more than that. I rotate between math (mostly game theory and number theory), creative writing, science fiction, fantasy, biblical studies, Anabaptist history, bonsai, Go, chess, and poker.
So that is an introduction to me, I suppose. I'm not sure if this is what was actually being asked ("Introduce yourself" seems terribly broad to me...) but hopefully you will forgive me if I misstep a bit.
Peace,
Chris
Hi , I.m self diagnosed, can't see the point in diagnoses for me at the moment. Have 3 kids with asd there is so much i could advice but everyone is so different ,The one thing i would say is you can't make them better ,it is who they are ,just help them learn to cope better ,like you have .and embrace asd gives a good positive spin on asd.
Thanks for your reply! I honestly don't think in terms of making him better (now that I understand a little bit about autism). Many of the traits that are being grouped into autism are things that we have always been proud of, in fact; he sat down with a 60 piece puzzle and worked at it until he finished it unaided at 3 years old, he knows the names of over 100 dinosaurs, etc. Most of the rest, like his need for "big squeezes" or his running and twirling, aren't good or bad, but they make him... him. Even the "down sides" like having difficulty switching tasks or hearing directions when he is doing something he loves seem to me to be part and parcel of the good bits; you can't have hyper focus without tuning out everything else for a while. If you took away everything that makes him autistic, he wouldn't be nearly as interesting or fun, but more importantly, he wouldn't be himself any more.