Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone!
My name is Milesh and I am 33. I haven’t had an official diagnosis yet, however I completed the AQ Quotient Questionnaire after experiencing meltdowns, a recommendation from my therapist and in search of answers.
I am learning. I am doing the reading and the research. But I would love to connect with people who understand.
What has really been upsetting this week, is people who I thought were allies, such as friends and family reacting in that horrid way by saying those hurtful words, 'You don't look autistic', or 'you can't be autistic, you're organised, in a full-time job, you're so intelligent'.
I think there were a number of different reasons why people wouldn’t pick up I have Aspergers or Autism - I have a full time, I can drive, I am independent to an extent. I definitely knew I was autistic before I knew I was gay. I was in lower sets at school, and I was quite insular. I found it difficult to communicate with others in a meaningful way, and to make friends. I liked routine and repetition. It was quite clear I was autistic early on. This was picked up by my school teachers but nothing was done about it.
I really struggled academically and socially. I found it difficult to keep up with my peer group. I think this was exacerbated by being gay. I was at mixed gender school at the time, and was trying to figure out my sexuality, as well as being on the spectrum. I didn’t make friends quickly and I was insular.
As a gay autistic man, it’s almost as if I have several identities. I have my LGBTQ+ identity and my autistic identity. Sometimes they both merge well together, and sometimes they don’t. Then I have my work identity, and work-friends identity, and my personal friends identity.
I'm finding this new chapter very revealing about me. I am though fearful of the future.
It would be great to connect with people, especially if you're on the spectrum and identity as LGBTQ+.
Much love to you all.
Hello,
I too drive and live independly as I can but still get similar responses. Some people will never accept that I am autistic so I do not worry and concentrate on those who do understand and will listen. Give people time and I hope they may come round. I wish you well in your journey of discovery.
Hey! Thanks for connecting! That is so true, to introspect and reflect on oneself!
We all have a mass of aspects to our thinking, but need to live with ourselves and find a way of functioning. The chats here help with reflection and understanding and we do change with time. However opportunities or troubles will be ahead and making good decisions can be difficult
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MileshGhedia said:'You don't look autistic', or 'you can't be autistic, you're organised, in a full-time job, you're so intelligent'. I think there were a number of different reasons why people wouldn’t pick up I have Aspergers or Autism - I have a full time, I can drive, I am independent to an extent.
'You don't look autistic', or 'you can't be autistic, you're organised, in a full-time job, you're so intelligent'.
I think there were a number of different reasons why people wouldn’t pick up I have Aspergers or Autism - I have a full time, I can drive, I am independent to an extent.
Hi Milesh,
Welcome to the forum. I am heterosexual, but wanted to say hi. I also work, can drive and am independent enough, but I have autism. I wish you well on your journey. What you are going through with other people makes us question ourselves sometimes, but we know ourselves best I think.
i have a very similar setup --- i have several personas(personalities) which I switch between depending my environment or some trigger. Most are very positive and encouraging like my coach mode for sport/hiking. But it was when a nasty persona was created that I went for help and was diagnosed as autistic.
as my meditation practise continues ( 3/4 years ) I see these personas more and more clearly and am gradually reducing them. I have a clown/fun character which kicked off last week when I started used the camera again in zoom meetings ! oh my he can be so rude :). The odd one is the nasty persona who is female and is very aggressive / up for a fight / argument. She now rarely appears.
i also work full time ( now from home ) have a family and dog. learnt to drive when 14