Saying hello...looking to connect with people

Hi everyone!

My name is Milesh and I am 33. I haven’t had an official diagnosis yet, however I completed the AQ Quotient Questionnaire after experiencing meltdowns, a recommendation from my therapist and in search of answers.

I am learning. I am doing the reading and the research. But I would love to connect with people who understand.

What has really been upsetting this week, is people who I thought were allies, such as friends and family reacting in that horrid way by saying those hurtful words, 'You don't look autistic', or 'you can't be autistic, you're organised, in a full-time job, you're so intelligent'.

I think there were a number of different reasons why people wouldn’t pick up I have Aspergers or Autism - I have a full time, I can drive, I am independent to an extent. I definitely knew I was autistic before I knew I was gay. I was in lower sets at school, and I was quite insular. I found it difficult to communicate with others in a meaningful way, and to make friends. I liked routine and repetition. It was quite clear I was autistic early on. This was picked up by my school teachers but nothing was done about it.

I really struggled academically and socially. I found it difficult to keep up with my peer group. I think this was exacerbated by being gay. I was at mixed gender school at the time, and was trying to figure out my sexuality, as well as being on the spectrum. I didn’t make friends quickly and I was insular.

As a gay autistic man, it’s almost as if I have several identities. I have my LGBTQ+ identity and my autistic identity. Sometimes they both merge well together, and sometimes they don’t. Then I have my work identity, and work-friends identity, and my personal friends identity. 

I'm finding this new chapter very revealing about me. I am though fearful of the future. 

It would be great to connect with people, especially if you're on the spectrum and identity as LGBTQ+.

Much love to you all.