Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! I was diagnosed with autism very recently, it’s been a bit of a strange time for me, as I’m 17 so the diagnoses is pretty late.
I wondered if anyone else was diagnosed late (late teens, and onwards) and what they did after getting diagnosed.
Im not sure how to tell people, even though I do want to tell people, and I’m not really sure how I feel!
But I’ve been reading through some of the posts on this page and everyone seems very lovely, so it’s nice to be a part of such a wonderful community.
Megs x
Diagnosed mid-forties! Envy you Megs.
Took me a while to get used to the idea and I'm beginning to realise how much I'm having to adjust my perspective and what it means in daily life. I read a lot, not all of it was helpful to me. I'm better absorbing information through life stories that "how to..." guides. It's why I like "Been there, Done that! An Aspies Guide to Life on Earth" (second plug this week... sorry all) because there's life stories in all aspects of ASD living with a summary by a psychologist. It really helped me to understand the different outlooks people have after being diagnosed and gave me a prod to take time in understanding what my diagnosis meant for me.
There's mixed feelings - definitely. In one sense it was like "coming home". My personal history made sense, my emotional "blind spots", my almost obsessive thirst for information, feeling overloaded in social situations, struggling with everyday contact with unfamiliar people (y'know, the people who help keep things running, your shop assistants, public transport workers, cafe servers and everyone else I can't think of) - then there can be those dark moments when I think about missed opportunities, botched diagnosis (it's depression, was always depression, but then I'm high functioning so why would my GP think any different on the limited set of symptoms I presented?) and watching how groups of people interact....understanding the dynamic but knowing I can't participate in it in the same way because emotionally I don't connect as they do.
Give yourself time. There's no rush for you to do anything and no rush for people to know. My experience is that people have been generally positive but I'm also acutely aware that on occasion they treat me differently than before my diagnosis and I'm not always comfortable with that. I'm glad I've very supportive people around but it's also hard to allow them to be supportive because in my mind I'm fiercely independent and it's hard for me to say I need help in "X" area or even accept that they're capable of being helpful without my asking.
Depending on my relationship with the other person this affects how much I disclose. So at work for example all the personal history I keep private - they don't need to know. I work in an office role, and I've built in regular time to meet with a manager and check-in just to give them an insight into what's going through my head and how I'm coping to keep them aware. I recognise to improve my quality of life I need support and the best way to do that is to be open with someone so they see me as an individual and not as someone with a set of symptoms. For the rest of the people I work with I've just reassured them I'm still me but if I seem a bit "off" sometimes, it's not intentional, it's because I've misjudged the situation or the exchange or I don't know how to deal with something.
There's no script for this kind of stuff. You'll figure out when or if is the right time for you, who to tell and what to tell them.
Welcome by the way.