Recent diagnoses

Welcome! I also recently got diagnosed (somewhat later in life than you though...)

So far I'm alternating between relief at being able to understand myself a little better, and confusion at what I can actually do to help myself in day-to-day life. I'll get there though.

So far the only people that know are my wife and a friend (and random internet strangers, obviously). I do plan on being more open about it, but I guess I just want to get things organised in my head first before I start telling other people.

I agree though - the posts on this site are lovely. It's nice to being able to discuss things and not constantly worrying that people are going to judge.

Diagnosed mid-forties!  Envy you Megs.

Took me a while to get used to the idea and I'm beginning to realise how much I'm having to adjust my perspective and what it means in daily life. I read a lot, not all of it was helpful to me. I'm better absorbing information through life stories that "how to..." guides. It's why I like "Been there, Done that! An Aspies Guide to Life on Earth" (second plug this week... sorry all) because there's life stories in all aspects of ASD living with a summary by a psychologist. It really helped me to understand the different outlooks people have after being diagnosed and gave me a prod to take time in understanding what my diagnosis meant for me.

There's mixed feelings - definitely. In one sense it was like "coming home". My personal history made sense, my emotional "blind spots", my almost obsessive thirst for information, feeling overloaded in social situations, struggling with everyday contact with unfamiliar people (y'know, the people who help keep things running, your shop assistants, public transport workers, cafe servers and everyone else I can't think of) - then there can be those dark moments when I think about missed opportunities, botched diagnosis (it's depression, was always depression, but then I'm high functioning so why would my GP think any different on the limited set of symptoms I presented?) and watching how groups of people interact....understanding the dynamic but knowing I can't participate in it in the same way because emotionally I don't connect as they do. 

Give yourself time. There's no rush for you to do anything and no rush for people to know. My experience is that people have been generally positive but I'm also acutely aware that on occasion they treat me differently than before my diagnosis and I'm not always comfortable with that. I'm glad I've very supportive people around but it's also hard to allow them to be supportive because in my mind I'm fiercely independent and it's hard for me to say I need help in "X" area or even accept that they're capable of being helpful without my asking.

Depending on my relationship with the other person this affects how much I disclose. So at work for example all the personal history I keep private - they don't need to know. I work in an office role, and  I've built in regular time to meet with a manager and check-in just to give them an insight into what's going through my head and how I'm coping to keep them aware. I recognise to improve my quality of life I need support and the best way to do that is to be open with someone so they see me as an individual and not as someone with a set of symptoms. For the rest of the people I work with I've just reassured them I'm still me but if I seem a bit "off" sometimes,  it's not intentional, it's because I've misjudged the situation or the exchange or I don't know how to deal with something.

There's no script for this kind of stuff. You'll figure out when or if is the right time for you, who to tell and what to tell them. 

Welcome by the way. 

Hello Megs,

I was diagnosed much later then 17 ...much much later, but the question of when to tell others is the same at any age,

My advice is to not rush into it, take your time and think it through. The problem, once you've told someone, is that  you cant untell them again -  so you do need to be sure. This applies to most conditions, not just ASD. Others may not understand what autism is, so maybe you should have a little think about how you will explain it. 

Take all the time you need.

Ben

Wait until u feel strong and sure in yourself --- be careful who you tell, the reaction u get may get ranges from "ok" to "no you're not" to silence or out right rejection. If u are working tell only those who need to know and again wait a bit until you are more stable

People in here are diagnosed at all ages  from 16 to 70 !  with loads at 40 - 55 

Welcome to this forum :)