Published on 12, July, 2020
I'd love to make a few connections here. I realize this is an UK forum. Does anyone know a forum that is more frequented by Californians?
A bit about myself: I am 31 years old and started to suspect recently that I might be on the autism spectrum. My ex-wife (I got recently divorced) often complained about my lack of emotional intelligence and suggested I get myself tested for Asperger's. Back then, I took it as an insult since I consider myself a fairly intelligent person and I had some preconceived notions about autism. More recently, the Youtube algorithm decided to show me videos on autism/by autistic people. Watching these videos and reading books about autism I started to strongly recognize myself in these people. Suddenly, it became pretty clear for me that I am likely somewhere on the autism spectrum. I also did a couple of online tests and they always came out as likely autistic. I want to get assessed for ASD and I live close to the Koegel Autism Center. Anyone ever had any experience with them?
I wanted to share a bit about my autistic traits: Despite never experiencing mental health issues, I have all my life struggled with relationships and social interactions. I am horrible at making friends and also very bad at keeping them. A common experience for me is that I meet someone and we seem to be getting along great. I am like "Oh boy, this is going great", but the next time we meet the person awkwardly avoids me. I usually have no idea what went wrong. I also have some issues with eye contact, that as a child would lead to me always looking at the floor when walking. I don't to this anymore, but walking past people can still be uncomfortable for me. Especially, if I am supposed to greet the person and I am not sure what is the right distance to establish eye contact, initiate greeting gesture, etc. Anyone else has that experience? I have minor sensory issues, like very special (fortunately rare) noises that drive me completely crazy. I also always have something on my desk to fiddle with. I am a crybaby when it comes to movies.
I realize that my bad social skills are often holding me back. Anyone has any good ideas on how to train them, especially now during these pandemic times?
like you, i crossed the pond. i'm in N cal. i got diagnosed at ucsf, the star center. i'd recommend them. when i was your age (i'm 65) i would never have guessed i was asd - altho they didn't really no much about it back then. it's worth getting an assessment, i think, to figure out your strengths and weaknesses, and what is hard wired, and what ain't. i have a lot of trouble making and keeping friends. a number are on the spectrum --- i think like attracts like. and NT's tend to avoid asd people, cause they may be quirky or odd or appear unfriendly, etc.
That's a very good point about the assessment telling me what is hard wired and what ain't. I'd like to know what expectations I should have about myself and what potential for growth. Before realizing I might be ASD, I always assumed that nothing is off-limits for me and I can achieve anything and be anyone. Realizing I might have a disability is quite sobering for me. On the other hand, it helps me to forgive myself and be more kind to myself if some interaction goes sub-optimal. In the past I would often ask myself "What the hell is wrong with me?". Having an answer to that should be good.
BTW, are you into raspberry pi single-board computers (because of your name)?