Hello from SoCal

I'd love to make a few connections here. I realize this is an UK forum. Does anyone know a forum that is more frequented by Californians?

A bit about myself: I am 31 years old and started to suspect recently that I might be on the autism spectrum. My ex-wife (I got recently divorced) often complained about my lack of emotional intelligence and suggested I get myself tested for Asperger's. Back then, I took it as an insult since I consider myself a fairly intelligent person and I had some preconceived notions about autism. More recently, the Youtube algorithm decided to show me videos on autism/by autistic people. Watching these videos and reading books about autism I started to strongly recognize myself in these people. Suddenly, it became pretty clear for me that I am likely somewhere on the autism spectrum. I also did a couple of online tests and they always came out as likely autistic. I want to get assessed for ASD and I live close to the Koegel Autism Center. Anyone ever had any experience with them?

I wanted to share a bit about my autistic traits: Despite never experiencing mental health issues, I have all my life struggled with relationships and social interactions. I am horrible at making friends and also very bad at keeping them. A common experience for me is that I meet someone and we seem to be getting along great. I am like "Oh boy, this is going great", but the next time we meet the person awkwardly avoids me. I usually have no idea what went wrong. I also have some issues with eye contact, that as a child would lead to me always looking at the floor when walking. I don't to this anymore, but walking past people can still be uncomfortable for me. Especially, if I am supposed to greet the person and I am not sure what is the right distance to establish eye contact, initiate greeting gesture, etc. Anyone else has that experience? I have minor sensory issues, like very special (fortunately rare) noises that drive me completely crazy. I also always have something on my desk to fiddle with. I am a crybaby when it comes to movies.

I realize that my bad social skills are often holding me back. Anyone has any good ideas on how to train them, especially now during these pandemic times?

  • i made that mistake dont let your enemy know your weaknesses

  • Did you see the pi400? It's very slick, like an old c64 or amiga computer where the computer was in the keyboard.

    Yeah, I am glad I realized this about me at an earlier age. Awareness for autism is improving and the stigma is wearing off, so I think it's easier for younger generations now.

    The free perks sound nice :) At first, I think I plan to keep my diagnosis secret from most people. Especially at work I am not sure I am gonna share.

  • the 4 isn't bad. it's a little slow for surfing, but i'm not an expert at tuning them, plus i have a slow connection. 

    the diagnosis at my age, 62, has been really difficult. a lot of negative things about me that i was not at all aware of suddenly are now --- in full view. very hard. you're young, so i think it'll be a lot easier.

    if you do get a diagnosis, you can get a free state fishing license because you have a developmental disability, lol... i think simply being asd qualifies, altho i have LD also. so i took up fishing again - surf fishing, actually. 

  • yep thats what happens to me 

    I hate when that happens. Back when I was married, my wife would sometimes tell me what went wrong (if she was also there), but not in a very constructive way, unfortunately.

    to me they are major, coomon noises upset me, and I have to carry rubber reusable ear plugs all the time

    My kryptonite is metal scratching on metal. As a child I wouldn't tell anyone because I was afraid that it's going to be used against me.

  • Thanks for sharing. I am still not sure how big of an impact a diagnosis can/should have on my life. Your experience almost makes it sound like a second birth.

    Same here, I also have a couple of raspberry pi's lying around. I like to turn them into portable gaming devices for playing retrogames and I am also into electronics in general. Sounds like you use them as a PC replacement (the pi 4 should be quite decent for that)?

  • the diagnosis kind of was super sobering... yeah, i realized i have several major disabilities. it does take the blame off, and really wakes you up. i also realized i have certain strengths. my therapist says i'm twice exceptional on top of all that... life for me is almost diviided into before diagnosis and after diagnosis.

    i am not an expert in raspberry pi's, but have several, including the pi 4, which is what i'm typing on right now!  ru into them?

  • I usually have no idea what went wrong.

    yep thats what happens to me 

    I have minor sensory issues, like very special (fortunately rare) noises that drive me completely crazy.

    to me they are major, coomon noises upset me, and I have to carry rubber reusable ear plugs all the time

  • That's a very good point about the assessment telling me what is hard wired and what ain't. I'd like to know what expectations I should have about myself and what potential for growth. Before realizing I might be ASD, I always assumed that nothing is off-limits for me and I can achieve anything and be anyone. Realizing I might have a disability is quite sobering for me. On the other hand, it helps me to forgive myself and be more kind to myself if some interaction goes sub-optimal. In the past I would often ask myself "What the hell is wrong with me?". Having an answer to that should be good.

    BTW, are you into raspberry pi single-board computers (because of your name)?

  • like you, i crossed the pond. i'm in N cal. i got diagnosed at ucsf, the star center. i'd recommend them. when i was your age (i'm 65) i would never have guessed i was asd - altho they didn't really no much about it back then. it's worth getting an assessment, i think, to figure out your strengths and weaknesses, and what is hard wired, and what ain't. i have a lot of trouble making and keeping friends. a number are on the spectrum --- i think like attracts like. and NT's tend to avoid asd people, cause they may be quirky or odd or appear unfriendly, etc.