Struggling

Hi I'm Marilyn. I have asd which they diagnosed when I was about 13. I'm now 24 but I am struggling really bad and need help and advice so please bear with me in the next bit. I am struggling with voices and thoughts. I've spoken to professionals but they detained me under the mental health act so I had to lie to get home again. The voices and thoughts are still with me and feel like they are getting worse and I don't know what to do about it. I'm supposed to see a professional on Tuesday but I'm scared of being detained again. The really worrying thing is that I keep getting thoughts to hurt others and controlling those is hard work. I also struggling with my baby which is just a nightmare and I think I have a personality problem as I seem to be balancing two lives. I have a job but I think I'll lose it soon as I'm never there, to afraid to leave the house. I feel like I'm nearly at breaking point now and am scared of what will happen when I hit the breaking point. I need help and soon but I don't trust anyone and struggling to open up face to face now.