I need help about my autism and life

these 3 routes are definitely a start for me, there are a few people In my school I know I could speak to its just getting the courage to actually do it because I also suffer from very bad anxiety which makes things a lot harder to do, especially going to someone in my school or anywhere and telling them would take a lot of thinking and effort, I've never actually been able to tell someone what's actually going on in my life, so all the stuff that is going on is just known to me and nobody else which makes it even harder to tell people because they must think that everything is going good for me when it isn't especially because I try to hide it which makes my situation much worse but what you have told me will definitely get me somewhere.

than you for sharing your experiences with me, hearing what others have gone or going through helps a lot and the person I would speak to is my friend but sadly he is only an internet friend but he shares similarities with me but obviously that wouldn't do much as he is just a friend online but in school I'm not too close to the teachers who deal with this stuff as I never went because I couldn't build up the confidence to go so they must think everything is going well with me but it isn't, I'm the type of person to tell someone I'm alright even if I'm not which doesn't help the situation, also yes there is quite a few people I could speak to but because I don't go there much It would be weird if I told them all of this but there is definitely people that I can speak to which is helpful I just need to figure out what to say and when to say it, Its definitely hard right now because of the whole covid 19 situation because usually I could just walk up and see if they're there but now I need to book an appointment with them which makes It harder for me to do it, also I've never told my parents this but the tablets I have stop impulsive behaviour so instead I keep it inside which is alot worse for my mental health but I cant just stop them so I'm not in the best situation right now but thank you so much for replying to my post, I will definitely try harder to tell someone that could help me.

Cameron, this sounds really good advice.

I'm 50 now, but I remember that overwhelm in my teens of people being too loud. I couldn't cope with people eating loud, breathing loud, noise, light, anythingthing i couldn't control. I had a migraine and eye problems from 15 to 18 that was constant and never went away. Things instantaneously got better the day i left home to work away, the migraine went, and my tensions went because i could mostly control things. I learnt how to avoid what i couldn't cope with and got better at politely asking people to do things different. 13-18 seem to be the worst years for many with autism/asperger, i've seen it with some friends' kids, and my best friend says the same about his life. I'm saying this to give you hope that things do get better.

I was lucky, I didn't suffer the anger, I kept it all boiling inside. I do feel for you, you're clearly trying hard and doing well at not taking it out on others.

Keep chatting here and reading other people's posts, it helps so much. But you do also need concrete help at school. Is there one teacher, or member of pastoral care, that you can talk to? I couldn't talk or express at all how it felt inside or what was going on for me, I'm only learning now. You've done a good job above of expressing yoyrself. Maybe you could write someone a short letter about what happens, how you feel, what challenges you face and what help you need. No one could not be impacted by what you've written above.

If you had to choose one person to talk to, ir write to, who would that person be?

School has a responsibility to support you. One of the reasons that I asked the question is that they could help you to tell your parents. I understand completely why you are scared to, but it is really important that they know how you feel and that you need help. You will need their support to push things with the school in helping you to access the right support. I am sure that they would want to know.

How about speaking to your tutor at school in private and ask them to make you an appointment with the SENCO.  It would be a good idea to write down all the points you want to discuss so that you don't get cross. If you can, perhaps you can show them what you have written on this site. I am not an expert and I don't know you, but what I do know is that you have to access help and the school should be able to help. Find out if they have a school counsellor when you talk to the Senco and how can you access this service. Explain that the help they have offered so far hasn't maybe been the right help because of how you are feeling and there are a lot of outside services that they can refer you to. Your parents will need to be involved legally as you are classed as a minor to help you access the right support.

The other thing is to make an appointment with your doctor to explain the situation. They may  talk to you over the phone because of COVID restrictions, but they need to know how you feel sooner rather than later.

As you have posted on this site, then why not given the NAS a call aswell to get their advice.

I hope that these three routes are a start for you. Write down all the conversations you have with people to include date, time, the name of the person you speak to. Keep a record of what you said and what they said and what they were going to organise for you. don't forget to ask how long things will take so you can manage your expectations and chase people when you haven't heard anything.

Let me know how you get on.

yes I do go to school and I was offered "help" but nothing ever happened about it, they gave me no real help except from saying "calm down" and stuff like that, so no real help from them which is why I'm struggling even more.

Do you go to school? If you do what do you know about their student support services?