Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone! I'm new here. I'm a parent to an amazing 9 year old girl who is just beginning the long journey for an official diagnosis. She got referred to CAMHS (we are in Scotland if that makes any difference) a month a half ago and still haven't heard anything yet. The school and GP have both said she is definitely showing autistic traits. I was just hoping to get some advice on how to help her manage during the wait!
When she has a meltdown she tends to self harm (scratch, punch, bite, pull hair and headbutt things) or be violent towards me...only ever me. She's never been violent towards her dad..is there a reason for that? Or sometimes she just screams and throws herself down on the ground and will not move until its passed. I'm the one who is mainly here (I work part time, dad works full time) I've bought her some sensory things which seems to help a little. Like squashy light up ball things, some fidget toys and a slinky. They do help a fair amount but what I really struggle with is the days where she point blank refuses to go to school. I say I struggle because her dad works in the early hours so it's my job to get her to school in the morning.
She's a big girl and extremely strong and when she throws herself down on the ground, I cannot for the life of me get her back up until she calms down. This morning was one of those days where she didn't want to go and I (embarrassingly) ended up calling in to work (crying) saying I wouldn't be in because she was refusing to go to school (so now obviously worried about my job!)
Its breaking my heart seeing her like this and sometimes not knowing what to do, I genuinely just feel like an absolute failure as a mum at times if I'm honest. So if anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it! Sorry if this doesn't make sense..I'm just wanting to help her the best I can.
That sounds so hard for you, as well as her. I don't know what I put my parents through but I think it was a much lighter version than what you're experiencing. I've two friends with autistic kids and both seem to have struggled with very similar issues, one much much worse still even. But both children have come out the other side, though it's taken 3-4 years. Some seems to be growing up, and other things is improved environment as the parents have kearnt the triggers, etc.
In trying to understand my own childhood I found the books The reason I Jump, All Cats have Aspergers, and I side Autism Looking Out all helpful. I'm reading the Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome right now which has some tips though it's really dry. Communication Issues on Autosm and Asperger Syndrome was good too, though the first few chapters were terrible.