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Introducing myself - what to do next

Siew
over 3 years ago

Hi everyone,

I am 41 year old Spaniard who has been living in the UK for almost 10 years now. 

My wife convinced me to seek professional help last year. She was pregnant and I was having a very hard time coping with anxiety, stress and suicidal thoughts. Things got worse when our little one was born. After initially being diagnosed with general anxiety disorder I was finally suggested to go through autism assessment and as a result of that I was diagnosed at the beginning of this year.

Once I got my diagnosis everything seemed to make sense to me and my wife - being so strict about schedules and time boxes, strong routines, explicit communication, lack of friends, no interested in social interaction, etc.

And here I am wondering what to do next. It has been a wild ride. My wife has been wonderful all this time and she is making all that is possible to make sure that I don't get panic/anxiety attacks again. But these still occur from time to time, and suicidal thoughts have come back sometimes, especially after periods of great stress/frustration with the little one. 

I am at the moment contacting different organisations to get some therapy/counselling. But given the current pandemic things are moving slow, and in the meantime I keep having attacks from time to time and I feel more and more like a burden for my wife. I don't know how should I tackle this in the short term. As a result of a 111 call my wife did during one of my latest episodes I was contacted by my GP, who suggested medication. I am considering taking that path.

To be honest, I don't know what to expect from this forum. I guess that I just need to find somebody out there who has lived through a similar situation and share experiences.  But I thought that introducing myself would be the very first step. So here I am.

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Hi Siew

    (sorry for the long post, in advance)

    I have had anxiety most of adult life, and I now strongly believe that anxiety is probably a secondary symptom of my autism condition. I'm on stage three of an official diagnosis for AS, with all tests done to date suggesting I have it. Prior to all this, GPs only diagnosed my anxiety disorder and acute panic attacks.

    I dealt with anxiety by reading about what triggers it, and the way the body responds abnormally as if in a fight-or-flight situation. When you begin to see the anxiety starting up, you can employ different techniques, such as only focusing on breathing. I have a strong noise aversion, with an aversion to noisy places with lots of people. I cope better now that I understand what is happening to me in those situations. For example, in a busy shopping mall when I start to feel anxious or awkward, I employ a kind of meditation whereas I walk along, all I do is focus on my breathing... watching my breaths in and out. It takes my mind away from other physical symptoms and takes my focus away from the disturbance. For me it is about understanding what is happening; our thoughts can trigger physical reactions, and external stimuli can trigger the negative thoughts, so its a cycle that can be broken. Understanding it all has helped me a lot. It is not a complete cure for me, but a coping mechanism.

    Your GP can prescribe books from the library on anxiety (and autism). Most UK libraries have books on coping with anxiety. Specifically, the Duodecimal shelf number will be in the health section around 616.852 (sorry I am a nerd when it comes to Duodecimal numbering, and often if I see a book way out of place, I sometimes move it where it should go). Some libraries will separate books on prescription onto their own shelf, so be aware. I think a lot of libraries right now, you may not be able to go in and have to order the book online in advance. Check your local library online first, or call them. As I said, also ask your GP about 'books on prescription'.

    Disclaimer: You can't get a proper diagnosis/prognosis from an online forum, but I think shared experiences can help signpost possible solutions. Apart from medication, also ask your GP about 'Cognitive behavioural therapy' and whether this might be of benefit to you in your specific case (Cognitive behavioural therapy has a Duodecimal number of 696.891 in the library). It is all about understanding and breaking that cycle of anxiety and thoughts.

    Regards
    Robert

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    Hi Siew

    (sorry for the long post, in advance)

    I have had anxiety most of adult life, and I now strongly believe that anxiety is probably a secondary symptom of my autism condition. I'm on stage three of an official diagnosis for AS, with all tests done to date suggesting I have it. Prior to all this, GPs only diagnosed my anxiety disorder and acute panic attacks.

    I dealt with anxiety by reading about what triggers it, and the way the body responds abnormally as if in a fight-or-flight situation. When you begin to see the anxiety starting up, you can employ different techniques, such as only focusing on breathing. I have a strong noise aversion, with an aversion to noisy places with lots of people. I cope better now that I understand what is happening to me in those situations. For example, in a busy shopping mall when I start to feel anxious or awkward, I employ a kind of meditation whereas I walk along, all I do is focus on my breathing... watching my breaths in and out. It takes my mind away from other physical symptoms and takes my focus away from the disturbance. For me it is about understanding what is happening; our thoughts can trigger physical reactions, and external stimuli can trigger the negative thoughts, so its a cycle that can be broken. Understanding it all has helped me a lot. It is not a complete cure for me, but a coping mechanism.

    Your GP can prescribe books from the library on anxiety (and autism). Most UK libraries have books on coping with anxiety. Specifically, the Duodecimal shelf number will be in the health section around 616.852 (sorry I am a nerd when it comes to Duodecimal numbering, and often if I see a book way out of place, I sometimes move it where it should go). Some libraries will separate books on prescription onto their own shelf, so be aware. I think a lot of libraries right now, you may not be able to go in and have to order the book online in advance. Check your local library online first, or call them. As I said, also ask your GP about 'books on prescription'.

    Disclaimer: You can't get a proper diagnosis/prognosis from an online forum, but I think shared experiences can help signpost possible solutions. Apart from medication, also ask your GP about 'Cognitive behavioural therapy' and whether this might be of benefit to you in your specific case (Cognitive behavioural therapy has a Duodecimal number of 696.891 in the library). It is all about understanding and breaking that cycle of anxiety and thoughts.

    Regards
    Robert

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