Introducing myself - what to do next

Hi everyone,

I am 41 year old Spaniard who has been living in the UK for almost 10 years now. 

My wife convinced me to seek professional help last year. She was pregnant and I was having a very hard time coping with anxiety, stress and suicidal thoughts. Things got worse when our little one was born. After initially being diagnosed with general anxiety disorder I was finally suggested to go through autism assessment and as a result of that I was diagnosed at the beginning of this year.

Once I got my diagnosis everything seemed to make sense to me and my wife - being so strict about schedules and time boxes, strong routines, explicit communication, lack of friends, no interested in social interaction, etc.

And here I am wondering what to do next. It has been a wild ride. My wife has been wonderful all this time and she is making all that is possible to make sure that I don't get panic/anxiety attacks again. But these still occur from time to time, and suicidal thoughts have come back sometimes, especially after periods of great stress/frustration with the little one. 

I am at the moment contacting different organisations to get some therapy/counselling. But given the current pandemic things are moving slow, and in the meantime I keep having attacks from time to time and I feel more and more like a burden for my wife. I don't know how should I tackle this in the short term. As a result of a 111 call my wife did during one of my latest episodes I was contacted by my GP, who suggested medication. I am considering taking that path.

To be honest, I don't know what to expect from this forum. I guess that I just need to find somebody out there who has lived through a similar situation and share experiences.  But I thought that introducing myself would be the very first step. So here I am.

  • I'll have to investigate this.  thanks  this is really helpful 

    Heart

  • This is exactly what I have! My ears are fine but it's something to do with the brain processing sound... The earbuds I tried out were from a company called Nuheara, and they were originally designed to be used by anyone for music etc. but have been found to be effective for people with hearing loss, autism and auditory processing disorder. They also do a 30 day money back policy so you can try them out. After trying these I checked online and found that some hearing aid technology is now starting to incorporate SINC along with other noise cancellation features etc... I think it's still a very new technology. There are some audiologists that specialise in autism / auditory processing screenings, which I think you could try to go through your GP about. I'm going to do the same soon, to see if I can get a referral or at least a recommendation. They have different types of sound tests that don't test your ears' hearing per se but your recognition of certain sounds in noise etc.

  • do u have a company name

  • wow  i think I need this SINC thingy -- my ears are fine, tested dozens of times but I have issues with certain people talking to fast, or at some rhymn. I cant "hear" want they are saying. Where do I start with my GP ? 

  • Welcome! I hope you find this forum a great place to discuss your thoughts around autism and hear other people's stories and ideas, I've found it so helpful. I was diagnosed at 30 (I'm 32 now), and one enormous thing that has helped me recently, that I can't praise enough, is recent advancements in hearing technology. My ears themselves are fine but there is something to do with the hearing / language parts of my brain where I can't follow speech very well and usually can't join in with conversations as they move quickly for me. There's some sort of sensory delay. About a month or so ago I tried some new hearing aid technology which is SINC (Speech In Noise Control), and the improvement was instant - my family said I was speaking better which was because I could hear myself clearly, and I could follow what they were saying and join in better. The tech dampens background noise and amplifies speech, which you can adjust for different environments, and it's been life-changing. Do let me know if you have any qs, wishing you all the best and welcome again!

  • Hi. Just so you know everyone who joins here has to post a video of themsselves licking an onion. It's the way we roll. Yeah we're a bit weird. 

  • Thank you once again for your answer. I guess that I will need to experience with meds myself to evaluate to which extent it works for me. I am having my phone GP appointment on Monday and I am looking forward to it.

    I used to meditate in the past, and it worked quite well for me. I just lost the habit. I think that it is time to get into it again. 

  • Thank you Aidie. Yes indeed, the person who assessed me said that I made a good job putting systems and habits in place to deal with my issues even without knowing about my condition. But I guess that the birth of my son was too much to deal with. I make my best to remind my wife everyday that she is loved!

  • Hi Siew. Your welcome and no of course I don't mind.

    Before I began medication I was overwhelmed and exhausted mentally and physically. I was suffering from depression and anxiety most of all and it all combined together was making life almost impossible to live. The effects of it all made me suicidal at times and my mood swings were terrible and sadly my mum got the worst of it. I really hate how I have treated her in the past. I'm still trying to forgive myself for that. I was crashing and burning so I knew I had to try and do something before I reached a place I couldn't get back from. So I started medication.

    I was so lucky in the sense that medication worked for me. It took some time to find the right medication but when I finally did it was nearly instant relief. I'm now less anxious. Not nearly as depressed and my attitude and mood swings are a thing of the past. Sadly medication doesn't always work and for many people it can make them worse. For sure discuss it with your GP if you want to but be aware that it might make you worse than you are.

    I am actually agreeing with Aidie here. I think in your case you have already achieved so much and that's under your own steam. It's amazing. I think you should get something like a support dog or maybe try some meditation exercises to help beat the stress and anxiety. Taking walks is also a great way of dealing with unwanted stress as well.

    Keep going, your doing amazing! If you feel that meds might be best for you then have a talk with your GP and see what they suggest. I hope you find something that can help.

  • u doing ok arent you ? -- i mean its a stuggle but you have achieved so much ( a family ) in the face of such ADVERSITY. Get a Golden Retrievier as a stress dog  and buy your wife a bunch of flowers. you have so much to celebrate :)

    your fool aidie

  • Thank you for your answer Charla.

    I was almost decided to try medication, so it is reassuring to see that it works for somebody else. 

    If it is not too much to ask, would you mind sharing your experience before/after medication? What changes have you noticed? If you already shared these experiences on this forum I'd be happy to read about it if you point me at the correct message.

  • Hi Sore, welcome to NAS. Hope your time here leads to the help your looking for.

    Taking meds will be your decision in the end. I was told by my GP that they don't work for everyone but I think it might be a good idea to give them a try as they can make a huge difference. I've been on my meds for a couple of years and they have made a massive difference to me and I'm in a much better place now. And if you do try them but don't get on you can try other ones. But no pressure, take your time to decide on this. You can also discuss this more with your GP to figure out what meds will be best for you.

    I also suffer from anxiety and depression and the meds I'm on really help me so I'm at peace currently.