Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello.. I'm new to the group and have suspected for a while that I am on the spectrum after working as an Autism Support Worker. I also have mental health problems and trying to get my voice heard is a challenge. Some of you have mentioned being passed pillar to post. My GP surgery doesn't seem to know who deals with Autism! But i finally (I think) have a referral.
I have lost jobs very quickly due to overwhelm and emotional breakdowns. I cry a lot. I struggle to cope with day to day life. Noise, bustle, people's tone of voice, thinking people are angry when they aren't, my mind going blank, not being able to multitask. I avoid people even at home with my parents. Yet I can come across as cheerful and articulate a lot of the time.
I feel my future is bleak and I will not be able to hold down a job. I am capable of much more but this thing is getting in the way.
I'm so worried i will lose my current job as a Health Care Assistant. My manager thinks because i am often upset i am not coping. She doesn't understand. The in-house trainer politely asked me if i had considered if i was autistic. I said yes and thought it was highly likely. So I put the wheels in motion.
I feel so broken and weird and frightened and confused and misunderstood. So I came here!
Hi
Welcome to the forum.
Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. I was diagnosed in my 30s, I found the wait for diagnosis really tough with lots of self-analysis most of which was pretty critical and focused on my deficits rather than my abilities. This had a massive impact on my self-esteem. If I could offer any advice it would be to try and keep a balanced perspective we all have our strengths as well as those things we find tricky.
I understand completely when you say that when you cry people perceive you as not coping.....I have the same problem when the reality is that it is when I go quiet that I am more likely to be struggling!
You house trainer sounds as if they might get it.....could you have another conversation with them and perhaps think about how to help your manager understand?
What are the things that help you relax.....can you do these regularly can you build some aspect of them into break-times at work?
Take good care and I hope you find the help and support you are looking for on this forum. I have found it comforting at times just to know I am not the only one!
I think I will talk to my trainer again. Not sure about break times as they are short but I will think of something to relax and try to squeeze it in. Thanks!