Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve fallen in to a deep dark hole, mentally that is. I have Aspergers and will be 24 next February. I live alone and I have no one in my life who cares about me or loves me. I’m anxious, I’m depressed and I suffer from PTSD having seen my poor sis killed at the roadside. I suffer from sleepless nights because of nightmares and my head is tight all the time like someone’s pressing it hard. I hate life and I see no reason for me to even be here. The woman who bore me hates me and nobody else wants to know me. Every day I sit in my little home just staring at the wall thinking how nice it must be to just fall asleep and never wake again-no worries, no cares, just silence and bliss peace. I feel like I’m alone in this world and no one gets me. They just see me like some girl who makes out that her problems are big when in fact they’re small. Well that’s not true. I should matter. I should be loved and cared for and my problems are big and they are killing me slowly but surely.
I just want to be loved but no one loves me. If I died today no one in my life would give a damn.
:( Please just someone help me through this. I just want someone to talk to
Hello April,
You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice. You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (10am – 12pm and 1pm - 3pm, Monday to Friday). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an adviser. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:
https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/form.aspx
You may also be interested in reading a bit more about anxiety in autistic adults: https://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/anxiety.aspx
The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.
Take care,
Elena Mod
Thanks for replying to me. Am I able to talk to someone with autism?
Hi. Have recently been diagnosed autistic and having many battles I’m my head. I feel like as long as everyone else is happy they don’t care and nobody wants to understand my difficulties. It can be isolating.. but the world in general is a very selfish place these days. There are a select few who do care and however dark it seems I do try to keep my chin up. It’s not an easy life but I have a 7 yr old reason to keep going and try my best. I fall over all the time but I get back up again. Not had a good day today and just wanna go to sleep but tomorrow is another day.