:(

I've now got people going on at me about everything:(

I still have the stomach ache so I called my gp and asked her about it. She said it sounded like it was the pills and that because I'm hypersensitive I might feel like this for a couple of weeks. I'm not very happy about that, I hate feeling unwell. She said if my symptoms get any worse to call back but hopefully they won't. She offered for me to go on to different tablets but I'm not sure what to do now. I want to get better but I don't want to get sick again. Don't know what to do.

Thank you, hugs x

Hi thank you for your reply.

I'm sorry you've experienced this as well and that you had COVID, that must have been so so hard for you and scary to.

I guess I'm overthinking things, I'm just scared of the ill symptoms I have and I don't feel too well either. I'm just scared

Hugs x

Hello April,

Don't give up. You are stronger than you realise. As long as you post on here, you are part of a community that has your best interests at heart and will help you in any way possible.

I have felt like you at times, I had nothing to get up in the morning for. Coming on here allowed me to express my feelings.

I can't relate to your problems. However, recently I battled, literally, for my life against COVID in intensive care. If someone like me can get through a nasty illness like COVID, you are capable of getting through this.

Don't worry, you will be alright.

Hugs to you x

I can’t imagine what you’re going through April, but I’m sure you can get through it. Remember, you are so much stronger than you realise xxx

I cannot do this anymore. I tried I really did try but as usual something went wrong, life stamped on me. Those tablets have made me feel so bad I haven't known what to do... I've had an upset stomach, dizziness, stomach pain, wind and felt sick. It's easing now because I stopped the tablets. I warned everyone that I will not throw up ever again. I would rather die than be sick again.

I'm a little disappointed. I was really hoping those pills would help me, I should have known really. Foolish of me to even think that I could try and regain control of my life and beat the anxiety and depression.

I'm now feeling like it's probably not worth going on from here. I can't beat all my problems alone but the meds make me sick as a pig. I'm at a loss now. Just feel like there's no way forward for me now and that this is it

Tell me about it hugs*

Im sorry about your sister, that sounds horrific.

I feel like I wrote this in so many ways. My mother is the same, no one I understands me and I dont understand them.

Today I thought I wish I'd fall asleep and never wake up.

You have to keep fighting, keep moving. 

I completely feel like you and I'm sure others here will feel the same or similar

I hope things go a bit better recently?

Your GP should have a duty of care.....You need to explain you have self harmed..

Its a vicious circle....One i went through for close to a year back in 1987....im neatly 52 now....I'll never get rid of the scars.....so please....from someone who has done it.....please stop as it will become a physical momentary high and cognitive...but in reality...when that illusion passes....youre in a much worse state...

I only wish i had been diagnosed with Autism when i was younger...I was diagnosed last yr at 51....its genuinely a miracle im still here....

So pls call the gp and explain politely...they have a duty of care and youre clearly at your wits end bless you...

April, I have been through dark times. It does get better. You are on the right track taking your pills. It usually takes a week or two to see a clear difference and you need to continue with them for 6 - 12 months. Please don't stop taking them.

A little progress I feel. I took my tablet this morning and so far no effects. But I had to go to A&E and have stitches in my hand and an injection which wasn't very nice.

But inside I still feeling empty and sad. I'm hoping the pills will start to kick in soon and I'll be feeling a little better

Good work April.  Well done.  Any luck yet? 

Try and make sure they don't forget about looking into your sleep problem.  With some doctors there can be a tendency, as soon as they hear that you're suicidal or self-harming, to focus only on that and forget about the actual things that are causing it, as if "suicidal" or "self-harming" were conditions in themselves rather than symptoms.  Which is understandable (it's rather an urgent problem!), but rather a short-term policy.  I may be worrying about nothing of course and your doctor is one of the ones that can remember about the other stuff.

yes do call your GP because no-one here knows how deep or infected your cut is. You havent done anything wrong. Keep coming on here to express your feelings and what is happening.  Lift the phone and talk to the Samaritans that will help as well they are really nice people. Talking about your issues helps.

who's your favorite painter ? mine is Jackson Pollock,,,, do u like Pollock's stuff,,,,,,have u tried to do a Pollock style painting they are so good for releasing sh*t in your head :)

Thanks for finding that page for me. My hand is still painful but I'm hoping it won't need to be treated.

That's the weird thing I just want to cause myself more pain but I'm trying to get my thoughts clear because I know next time I'll go to far and I'm scared of that. I'm calling my gp today

Do you think it does need to be checked out? Its very red, painful and it still hasn't healed over. When they're open I will call my gp as well to get some help

Hi. Have recently been diagnosed autistic and having many battles I’m my head. I feel like as long as everyone else is happy they don’t care and nobody wants to understand my difficulties. It can be isolating.. but the world in general is a very selfish place these days. There are a select few who do care and however dark it seems I do try to keep my chin up. It’s not an easy life but I have a 7 yr old reason to keep going and try my best. I fall over all the time but I get back up again. Not had a good day today and just wanna go to sleep but tomorrow is another day. 

Hi April,

I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay. 

It's very important to tell someone about your feelings. Call your GP again and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.

 If it’s outside your GP hours call  111  to reach the NHS 111 service:   http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

 The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

 MIND have information pages on coping with self harm  based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful. 

This  self-injury support site specifically for women and girls might also be helpful.  There's lots of information and links to support services that you might find useful.

If your injury to your hand needs treatment go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.

Take care.

Kerri-Mod

That seems a good reason to care.

Have you washed your hand thoroughly under the tap and bandaged it?  Here are instructions off the NHS website, pooh, that took long enough to find.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cuts-and-grazes/

Personally I'd also recommend taking 500mg of vitamin C if you can get it, although I don't know if you can with all the shops shut.  It makes scabs heal up twice as fast when I take it, it's quite noticeable, and is also supposed to be reasonable as an antibacterial, so it seems like it can't do any harm.  (I use the straight ascorbic acid powder and if something does look as if it's getting infected I mix some with water and put it on the place itself, and it seems to work.)

You do not deserve to be hurt, you're doing nobody any harm. I kind of know what you mean, you get to thinking that if you punish yourself enough you will earn something good happening to you, like you have to pay for it!  It won't work!  I know what you mean about pain making you feel better though, that's a separate thing.  Try just digging your nails in next time.  That way you're not breaking the skin so you can't get an infection, also you can keep doing it instead of it just being for a moment and then you're on your own again.

(I've never (intentionally) cut myself though, but I sometimes beat myself up with my fists and that.  I don't think when most people say "don't beat yourself up about it" they mean it literally  :-D  )