Hi - Recently diagnosed and wanting to chat with others with ASD.

Hi Millie

I masked until my early 50s, but I didn't have a clue it was Aspergers. It was only through watching a documentary which featured an Autistic woman who did presentations about Autism that it dawned on me. The best resource about the female Aspie profile I found was this:

taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/.../

I don't have any learning difficulties, in fact I learn quickly when I am interested and focussed and in a suitable environment. School was not a suitable environment. I learn better at home and have achieved more with home study and distance learning.

Of course there are things that your NT family members and friends won't "get" about you. There are things about them that you won't understand. But everyone is different - and no two Aspies are the same! It's easier if you can enjoy the difference and value it. NT people have weaknesses too, but we can sometimes get obsessed about the things they can do that we usually find difficult, like multi tasking, filtering out strong sensory stimuli, making small talk and knowing the right thing to say in certain situations. But we have our own strengths, which are varied and include: the ability to hyper focus, problem solving, attention to detail (seeing things others miss), determination and integrity. We are also often creative, and can relate well to animals. Here is a fuller list of the positives of autism:

autismawarenesscentre.com/.../

 Reading the experiences of other adult Aspies on this forum should help you feel less "different". The "alien on the wrong planet" idea is common, but why is it us who are the "aliens"? Why not the NTs? My biggest problem on realising I was an Aspie was that to me, my thought processes and behaviours were normal. I had no idea what society's "normal" was. So it became my new special interest - finding out the differences between AS and NT people. I ended up feeling better about myself and understanding others better, and it's certainly helped my work relationships. We are not an anomaly - we are part of the natural order and some of us are here to help advance humankind. The famous American Autistic woman Temple Grandin said that if there were no autistic people, the human race would still be standing around in caves chatting. It's highly unlikely we'd be chatting on the internet.

I don't like the term ASD  because I don't see myself as disordered. I have had many special interests including animals, music, social sciences, food & nutrition, politics, teaching & learning and reading fiction, particularly fantasy & sci-fi. I also enjoy comedy and sci-fi/fantasy movies and tv series and playing video games (my secret favourite is The Sims - way too "childish" for most women my age, but who cares? I don't). I have found the best way to progress through life is to ask yourself "what do I really want to do?" And then work out how to do it, ignoring what anyone else thinks. It's your life, play it how you want.

Hi Millie

I masked until my early 50s, but I didn't have a clue it was Aspergers. It was only through watching a documentary which featured an Autistic woman who did presentations about Autism that it dawned on me. The best resource about the female Aspie profile I found was this:

taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/.../

I don't have any learning difficulties, in fact I learn quickly when I am interested and focussed and in a suitable environment. School was not a suitable environment. I learn better at home and have achieved more with home study and distance learning.

Of course there are things that your NT family members and friends won't "get" about you. There are things about them that you won't understand. But everyone is different - and no two Aspies are the same! It's easier if you can enjoy the difference and value it. NT people have weaknesses too, but we can sometimes get obsessed about the things they can do that we usually find difficult, like multi tasking, filtering out strong sensory stimuli, making small talk and knowing the right thing to say in certain situations. But we have our own strengths, which are varied and include: the ability to hyper focus, problem solving, attention to detail (seeing things others miss), determination and integrity. We are also often creative, and can relate well to animals. Here is a fuller list of the positives of autism:

autismawarenesscentre.com/.../

 Reading the experiences of other adult Aspies on this forum should help you feel less "different". The "alien on the wrong planet" idea is common, but why is it us who are the "aliens"? Why not the NTs? My biggest problem on realising I was an Aspie was that to me, my thought processes and behaviours were normal. I had no idea what society's "normal" was. So it became my new special interest - finding out the differences between AS and NT people. I ended up feeling better about myself and understanding others better, and it's certainly helped my work relationships. We are not an anomaly - we are part of the natural order and some of us are here to help advance humankind. The famous American Autistic woman Temple Grandin said that if there were no autistic people, the human race would still be standing around in caves chatting. It's highly unlikely we'd be chatting on the internet.

I don't like the term ASD  because I don't see myself as disordered. I have had many special interests including animals, music, social sciences, food & nutrition, politics, teaching & learning and reading fiction, particularly fantasy & sci-fi. I also enjoy comedy and sci-fi/fantasy movies and tv series and playing video games (my secret favourite is The Sims - way too "childish" for most women my age, but who cares? I don't). I have found the best way to progress through life is to ask yourself "what do I really want to do?" And then work out how to do it, ignoring what anyone else thinks. It's your life, play it how you want.

Hi PixieFox,

I hope you're well and have enjoyed Easter and the sunshine despite the lockdown.

Thank you for your helpful and encouraging message.

It seems like you are embracing ASC and making good use of a range of positive materials out there. I will take a look at those; thank you.

I think historically, without even knowing it, my special interests was how to function socially and 'vaguely fit in'... in many ways I achieved, but the stress and anxiety  of masking always led me to break down and I didn't know why. Now I realise I've been living a lie for a long time, but its hard to pick apart the lie from reality and to peel off the mask to try to find my actual identity. I'm not sure that makes sense?!

I don't think The Sims is childish and if its harmless and something you enjoy then it doesn't matter. Do you enjoy cooking and baking? I enjoy walking, Lego, writing and spending time with my English Bull Terrier.

I understand what you mean about doing what you want to do, but I also have to consider what the costs of pushing to hard in a NTs world and the impact it can have on my mental health. I guess I also find being different difficult, especially as in many ways its invisible.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings.

Take care,

Camilla