Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all
I've been recently diagnosed with autism. It cam as a surprise, but it shouldn't have. I had a miserable educational experience myself, yet I started teaching in my 30s and quickly found myself drawn toward the teaching of autistic young people.
My youngest son was diagnosed with autism a little over a year ago, and watching how he struggles with his school experience is like looking into a mirror onto my own childhood experiences.
It led me to seek a diagnosis for myself. The results aren't surprising really. I'm autistic. It's led me to reassess many of the struggles I've faced in my life, and also the toll that those coping methods have had on my mental health. The methods have been very successful really. I'm very senior in my work, I have money, I have a beautiful partner and wonderful children. However, I know my methods for dealing with it all aren't sustainable, and I'm going to have to change.
Just wanted to say hello, really.
Thank-you for all of your helpful replies. I'll take some time to reflect, as you suggest. Much respect to you all!
Hey - I hope your journey on this newly begun adventure goes well. It's bringing comfort to me to be here and realise others are experiencing similar things to me, although sad to appreciate the difficulties they will have faced. Well done for achieving all you have acheived so far in life and I hope the changes bring you the peace (or whatever is the right word) that you're after.
I love your jigsaw analogy, Beefree, I'll remember that :)
Hi and welcome.
I got diagnosed in my 30's too and work with young adults most of whom are autistic. I am in a senior role too and there are many positives that my autism brings me that makes me good at what I do. Don't get me wrong there are definitely things that are tricky and I have still got a lot of areas in which I can develop!!!
When I received my diagnosis it was initially quite challenging thoughts like 'oh my goodness I am far too autistic to possibly even attempt to go and meet those people/go to the supermarket/go on holiday etc..... Even though these are things that I have done before and really enjoyed (not the supermarket I hate that but I can do it). I also experienced a lot of regret for a childhood and particularly the relationships with family that might have been so different if people had known and I had known.
Getting a diagnosis for me was like I had already Constructed a jigsaw puzzle and worked out the picture of who I was and getting the diagnosis was like taking the pieces apart flipping them over and realising there is a whole other picture on the other side! Exciting and destabilising at the same time.
My only advice is to try and focus equally on the positives that autism brings as well as looking at the tricky stuff
I also agree with taking your time to work things out piece by piece. Something that many of us find so difficult when there is a question or a problem. I want a solution immediately and don't rest until the thing is 'fixed'. (possibly a trait that helps us progress quickly with our careers because many of us tend to be very solution focused and hate chaos and disorder).
Hi
I was diagnosed late at 42 - I was very successful too - top job, married, child, nice house etc. but I got to a point where it was unsustainable. I totally burned out and became very ill.
Now you're aware of your position, what are you going to do with that information? We've re-jigged our lives to reduce the pressure and we're working to exit out of the whole rat-race/downsize for self-preservation.
Do you think you can adjust everything to be kinder to yourself? Is there an alternative plan that would be more sensible?
Hello!
The graceful swan on the surface with the legs furiously kicking out of sight beneath the water - indeed, many of us here are all too familiar with it. While it may be disheartening, it's good that you've recognised that the bubble-gum and string that keeps it all together is only a jury-rig that may not get you to the other side of the pond. Welcome aboard our virtual life-raft - it's a bit rickety sometimes, but it has a very generous, helpful crew!
My personal situation is very different to yours, as it was when I was diagnosed a few years ago, so there's not much specific advice I can offer. Of course, you now have some legal protection should you request "reasonable adjustments" at work (though be prepared for some squabbling over the weaselly "reasonable"). But my main advice would be to let it all sink it a bit before making any big changes, and to try to avoid the temptation to overwhelm yourself by gorging on information and advice. Most people experience a few ups and downs following their diagnosis, and as you settle in here, you'll almost certainly have a few "Eureka" moments as you find those people who's experiences click with yours. Advice "from the horses mouth" has benefitted me far more than anything offered by people in lab coats with letters after their names - so coming here was a fine choice of first step to take.
Best wishes to you and your family.