Gay and Aspie

Hi there, my daughter has Aspergers she is nearly 12 and has told me she's gay. can anyone point me in the direction of any information on this. 

Also anyone with a kid in this age group I could talk to.

Laina.

Parents
  • Hello Laina

    Following on from the community feedback you have received...you may find these couple of links helpful for you as well...

    https://www.autism.org.uk/professionals/training-consultancy/courses/sexuality-relationships-and-autism.aspx

    https://www.autism.org.uk/about/stories/eva-gibbs.aspx

    I hope you find something useful

    Best Wishes

    Lorraine Mod

  • I can only give you my opinion writing as the father of 6 boys and Girls the youngest Son is severely autistic who has no Idea about sexuality, other he has on his own drawn a Line on his Outer pair of Double Y fronted Pants he wears about the home. He is now 37, as his Autism is so profound He would become a serious problem if some do-gooder, or social worker tried to introduce him to a a sexual partner. It  would be an abuse of a Vulnerable person. He lives in a Cartoon World.to make sense of it.

    Now Your Problem, There is no problem in any child of 12, or of any age come to that. for them to have a special friend of any sex. Any sexual activity should not be encouraged, as this would be unlawful, or discouraged other than common sense.

    All Children from about the age of about 10 in my case, start to notice that babies are the result of a special relationship with their Mother and Father. By the age 12, more so in Girls than with Boys who used to sexually develop later. Their Hormones that  control  sexual recognition behavior seem to be exaggerated. With younger girls preferring older boyfriends and its sexual risks as badge of their prowess among their female friends.

    Bearing in mind  what is Lawful. All young children should get a anti viral injection for Warts to prevent Cervical Cancer developing, or being spread. There are too many infections that can be transmitted by close contact un-wittingly especially when a little older and perhaps taking hollidays abroad and being vulnerable.

    We as parents left it to the school to sexually educate our Children its a bumpy road.

    But Remember They will take their main Guidance from your own behaviour.that is their normality.  

  • It's understandable that you want your daughter's life to be easy and for her to be included, but her life would be much harder if she was gay and felt she had to keep it a secret. It sounds like you've raised her in an environment where she feels safe to be herself, so that's a real positive.

    Being gay is just as much a part of her identity as being autistic. As long as you love her and embrace who she is, you're doing all you can. 

  • Just remember The Media only seems to focus of Male Perverts, who quite often appear to me to be driven on their quest by repititious behaviour of befriending others. Commonsense should be that there will be Female Perverts, Gay, or otherwise determined on their behaviour.

    Unfortunately You have to teach your daughter respecting her age. Not to trust Others Male, or Female, sometimes together as a team, just as other Children have to be taught to be wary. Just as you were hopefully!

    As I said before Her Guidance is You and your own experiences.

    I expect like all Children She will even rebel as part of the process of Growing up Frustration.of having to wait before.she is able to become a Responsible Adult.. 

  • I worry that being gay and Aspergers will make things harder for her. I'm trying to navigate autism but she is the only one that really knows what it's like, then and being gay to the mix and I'm lost. 

    She has many gay positive roll models in her life, and personally I really don't see it as a problem. 

    I've told her I don't care, she is who she is, but I do worry for her.

Reply
  • I worry that being gay and Aspergers will make things harder for her. I'm trying to navigate autism but she is the only one that really knows what it's like, then and being gay to the mix and I'm lost. 

    She has many gay positive roll models in her life, and personally I really don't see it as a problem. 

    I've told her I don't care, she is who she is, but I do worry for her.

Children
  • It's understandable that you want your daughter's life to be easy and for her to be included, but her life would be much harder if she was gay and felt she had to keep it a secret. It sounds like you've raised her in an environment where she feels safe to be herself, so that's a real positive.

    Being gay is just as much a part of her identity as being autistic. As long as you love her and embrace who she is, you're doing all you can. 

  • Just remember The Media only seems to focus of Male Perverts, who quite often appear to me to be driven on their quest by repititious behaviour of befriending others. Commonsense should be that there will be Female Perverts, Gay, or otherwise determined on their behaviour.

    Unfortunately You have to teach your daughter respecting her age. Not to trust Others Male, or Female, sometimes together as a team, just as other Children have to be taught to be wary. Just as you were hopefully!

    As I said before Her Guidance is You and your own experiences.

    I expect like all Children She will even rebel as part of the process of Growing up Frustration.of having to wait before.she is able to become a Responsible Adult..