New here but anxious and nervous over possible diagnosis

Hi all

I am a 36 yr old married father of 2. over the last few years my wife was part of the parent governors at the local primary school.She worked with SEN and autistic children. My wife has known me since we were both really young 13/14 ish in age. The more she learned about SEN and autism the more she pointed out the way she believed I may be on the autistic Spectrum. 

Now i know myself this was a possibility I love spreadsheets and numbers I collect a lot. I get focused easily on silly pointless tasks it seems.

I Decided to take the AQ test (on with 50 questions) my score came out over 40 which if my reading is correct is a likely autistic score. 

I get bored easily and start slacking in jobs shortly after employment I am driven and work hard at the start but that changes after a period of time. 

I would love to get some advice on what to do. I am scared, anxious and nervous about the possible diagnosis. I don't know if this will change anything in my current life if things will continue as they are or not. 

I did the test a few days ago and haven't slept properly since I haven't discussed it with my wife either. 

Do I make an appointment with my GP or not. Does it change anything.

Any help appreciated. 

  • It can serious effect on you being recruited by your next employer if u r diagnosed as being on the spectrum. But work aside it can be a very good thing to do in that you now know what the issue is and you can work from there. Your mind settles. 

    you need to discuss it with your wife because she is so experienced and her evidence will be key in your case. 

  • it was about 1 month after my diagnosis then I began to feel like this

  • I would recommend 1) discuss with wife; 2) do some more reading; 3) then consider GP appt.  I took about 3 months from seriously starting to think "am I?" to gettign referred, and the main reason in the end that made me so it was that the "am I?" was winding me up so much I would rather have known either way.

    My opinion would disagree with Aidie about the effect on employment - other in here may agree/disagree. 

  • Hi there, and welcome!

    I would agree with Bagpuss - you might find that you experience relief when you talk about it with your wife. Who knows, she might have been thinking about it herself in a similar stream to you. It sounds as though you have noticed a lot of ASD traits in yourself and you are worried what this might mean. We (people on the spectrum - you might see this in yourself as well) can be notoriously linear thinkers and prone to 'catastrophising'; we get blinkered into one stream of thought and the negatives can always seem so much bigger than any potential positive outcomes. Don't blame yourself, and try not to feel guilty. Do things that you know make you feel happy, keep collecting and making spreadsheets!

    Aidie is also right about employment, it is hard, but not impossible. I've have had the same experience as you of going cold on a job I was initially really passionate about. I'm really struggling at the moment with getting a new job to understand, but I know it would be a lot worse had I not been diagnosed a few years ago. It did change my attitude towards myself, not overnight, but gradually I am beginning to get better being kinder to myself, and understanding what I need. 

    Referrals can take a while and are a multi-layered process; it's worth reading up on what will happen in order to psychologically prepare yourself if you do decide to go ahead. I can also recommend getting some specific counselling for yourself and possibly together as a couple. There's a great directory on this website which you can use to find somebody if you think this might be helpful. An online test is not a reliable way of computing your ASD status - a diagnosis takes a triangulated approach employing interview, performance in narrative tasks and information about your early childhood development. it might be best to ask somebody who knew you as a young child (if there's anyone you can ask) to start thinking about how you used gesture, eye contact and what your play was like as a young child. 

    The uncertainty about your diagnosis is something I remember well, you must be feeling really frightened at the possibility. Whatever happens, it's important to remember that a diagnosis does not change your profile, or your situation, but it can offer an explanation and enable greater understanding of your own identity and what you need to stay happy and healthy. I am a psychology undergraduate and identity development for people with a late diagnosis of ASD is something I'm really interested about - I'm convinced there's a PhD there...

    Wishing you all the best - a lot of us have been where you are, you are not alone!