Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a woman in her 40’s and I suspect my 10 year old son may have autism. I would have said Aspergers but realise that is no longer a diagnosis. I have been researching autism trying to decide if there would be any advantage in a having him diagnosed. I wonder if it would help him understand himself and who he is in the world more or if it would just be a label people misread. During my research it struck me quite unexpectedly that I am Autistic. Well I believe I am and wonder if a diagnosis would help me also. I have always wondered what the hell was going on with me in the world and realising I may be Autistic gave me a great feeling of relief and also a bit of grief for all the time wasted wondering what the hell was going on. Looking back it seems obvious now. I didn’t talk until I was 3 and then spoke in sentences. I’ve always been socially awkward and one of my worst fears in life is small talk. Anyway, I guess that’s it, I don’t want my son to wonder what’s “wrong” with him if a diagnosis could tell him what is different about him instead. Is a diagnosis helpful?
Hi Thisisme,
I can say with 100% certainty as a 50-something diagnosed only this week, that I wish I had known what I know now 10 years ago. That knowledge would have stopped me pushing myself to replicate the behaviours I saw around me and exhausting myself in the process, leading (I believe) to life-stealing anxiety, depression, addictive behaviours and thoughts of suicide. In stark contrast, now that I have an explanatory framework, I want to live forever.
What I'm less certain of is how valuable this knowledge would have been for me as a younger person. Would I have missed out on trying some things because my knowledge of my make-up would have led to entrenched "limiting beliefs"? I'm not sure. How would I have used the knowledge when I got bullied at school? Would I have naively said "Leave me alone! I'm autistic!" & would that have made things worse?
But despite these uncertainties, I can't help coming down on the side that says knowledge is power, especially when it comes to self-understanding and self love.
I'm done with Christmas Cards said:Leave me alone! I'm autistic!" & would that have made things wors
Depends where you grew up, I think, and what your classmates and teachers were like as regards difference. When we grew up there was no PC and no 'diversity'. I don't think anybody who wasn't there can understand what it was like to be different then.
True. We can hope that kids would be kinder in such circumstances nowadays - bullying still exists, but maybe its causes are different & picking on kids who are different might be less of an issue. But I'm speculating - my kids have grown up and I'm not at all close to what happens for school age children nowadays.
Race , sexuality, gender, and disability are sacred cows nowadays. So kids being kids will find other things to pick on. Weight is a common one.