Newbie, middle aged and newly diagnosed

I was diagnosed at 38. Totally out of the blue. I'd been under MH services for 3 years with a long bout of anxiety and depression. One day my GP told me he suspected I had autism. MH services never payed any attention, just threw meds at me. Within three months of the AQ test I was diagnosed as autistic. I didn't know much about autism at the time, just had a couple of friends with autistic kids. I knew how to treat them, and behave around them, not much else though.

I can relate to a lot of the things you are speaking of.Leaving jobs or losing them, certain relationships failing, periods of locking myself away, and yeah, not much peace in general during my adult life.

At first I had so much to take on board. For years I thought the sensory stuff was a form of insanity. I struggle with my senses a lot. I was questioning everything in my past, but it started to spill over into my everyday life. That wasn't good, at all. Second guessing myself all the time. Slowly things started to settle, and I started to realise that I was still me. All that had changed was that I had now a sort of way to manage things better. The lady that gave me my diagnosis signposted me to a local autism charity, who put me in touch with a lady who's sort of been a guardian angel the last few years. She also got me into contact with a lady who had been diagnosed 10 years ago, who she said had a lot in common with me. She did luckily and has given me good advice. I was lucky admittedly to find them. Things started to make a lot more sense. The lady who has been diagnosed 10 years said "What has changed about you? Nothing. There's nothing to second guess!". I didn't mind being diagnosed, not one bit, but it was all the "What if I knew earlier?" stuff that was throwing me.

Around the same time I started posting here and got into a conversation with someone in PM. I always quote what she said because it made so much sense. "I have autism, autism doesn't have me" was what she said about the post-diagnosis feelings. I'll always owe her for telling me that short but sweet way of seeing it.

Look at the things that apply to you, and what doesn't. Autism is a spectrum after all, it's different for all of us. There are good things about it, so appreciate those. With the stuff you find troubles you, you now have a way to look at them and manage them. Autism can be managed, but you are on that path now!

My life has improved vastly in the last three years. I've found out so much useful stuff that makes life easier. You can fall into that rut of the post-diagnosis stuff I mentioned, but try not to. Three years ago I thought that my sensory problems were going to drive me over the edge, but now I know what they are and how to cope better.

NAS63047 said:

How have others managed to reconcile the fact that life could have been so different if only you, family, friends, employers might have known? 

For me personally I had to stop thinking about it. I actually take pride in the fact I managed to do so much without a clue. You did too. It's something to be proud of. Stuff might have been painful, but you are where you are now. You were strong enough to get through that, so the only way is up now. The past is the past for me, and I'm just moving forward at a pace I can deal with. We will both get to where we need to be, we've just got to be kind to ourselves while we do it.

All the best,

Cloudy,

Oh and welcome to the community!

I was diagnosed at 38. Totally out of the blue. I'd been under MH services for 3 years with a long bout of anxiety and depression. One day my GP told me he suspected I had autism. MH services never payed any attention, just threw meds at me. Within three months of the AQ test I was diagnosed as autistic. I didn't know much about autism at the time, just had a couple of friends with autistic kids. I knew how to treat them, and behave around them, not much else though.

I can relate to a lot of the things you are speaking of.Leaving jobs or losing them, certain relationships failing, periods of locking myself away, and yeah, not much peace in general during my adult life.

At first I had so much to take on board. For years I thought the sensory stuff was a form of insanity. I struggle with my senses a lot. I was questioning everything in my past, but it started to spill over into my everyday life. That wasn't good, at all. Second guessing myself all the time. Slowly things started to settle, and I started to realise that I was still me. All that had changed was that I had now a sort of way to manage things better. The lady that gave me my diagnosis signposted me to a local autism charity, who put me in touch with a lady who's sort of been a guardian angel the last few years. She also got me into contact with a lady who had been diagnosed 10 years ago, who she said had a lot in common with me. She did luckily and has given me good advice. I was lucky admittedly to find them. Things started to make a lot more sense. The lady who has been diagnosed 10 years said "What has changed about you? Nothing. There's nothing to second guess!". I didn't mind being diagnosed, not one bit, but it was all the "What if I knew earlier?" stuff that was throwing me.

Around the same time I started posting here and got into a conversation with someone in PM. I always quote what she said because it made so much sense. "I have autism, autism doesn't have me" was what she said about the post-diagnosis feelings. I'll always owe her for telling me that short but sweet way of seeing it.

Look at the things that apply to you, and what doesn't. Autism is a spectrum after all, it's different for all of us. There are good things about it, so appreciate those. With the stuff you find troubles you, you now have a way to look at them and manage them. Autism can be managed, but you are on that path now!

My life has improved vastly in the last three years. I've found out so much useful stuff that makes life easier. You can fall into that rut of the post-diagnosis stuff I mentioned, but try not to. Three years ago I thought that my sensory problems were going to drive me over the edge, but now I know what they are and how to cope better.

NAS63047 said:

How have others managed to reconcile the fact that life could have been so different if only you, family, friends, employers might have known? 

For me personally I had to stop thinking about it. I actually take pride in the fact I managed to do so much without a clue. You did too. It's something to be proud of. Stuff might have been painful, but you are where you are now. You were strong enough to get through that, so the only way is up now. The past is the past for me, and I'm just moving forward at a pace I can deal with. We will both get to where we need to be, we've just got to be kind to ourselves while we do it.

All the best,

Cloudy,

Oh and welcome to the community!