I have recently received a diagnosis at the grand age of 52. it's a game changer but at the moment i am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My life has been fraught with broken jobs and relationships, loneliness, not fitting in, anxiety, fear and suddenly vanishing friendships. at least i have some insight now but i can't undo the past and all the loss that went with it. How have others managed to reconcile the fact that life could have been so different if only you, family, friends, employers might have known?
I live with my three dogs and have been off sick from my job for four months with the anxiety that I now know is driven by autism. I will not be returning to my job but i have to find a way of paying the mortgage, on my own but how? really I need to work for myself as I am just no good working with or for others.
while i'm thinking aloud i would love to hear from others, particularly older autistic people and those diagnosed later in life. I would love to hear your stories and how diagnosis has changed life for you or how you have reevaluated life before diagnosis...
so, Hi and thank you for having me here
I'm not autistic but have a daughter that is.
It's not the end of the world and you've come this far in life. I'm so sorry you sound very upset and fed up about the whole situation. It must be very difficult.
Financially paying the mortgage might have to come from initiative as you suggested, working on your own.
but you must have had skills to get you this far in life so I'm sure you still got some tanacity and skills somewhere.
Get on the internet and get searching for organisations that can help you.I know that the Jobcentre gives you extra help if you're autistic and I think there's a scheme that can help you back into employment or self-employment. Maybe you could have a look at this.
I'm sure you'll get lots of help on here.
Hi there. I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago at 45. Fortunately I already worked out some time ago that I like working by myself so I have a job working from home. Look for a job that works for you, and ideally in an area that you enjoy. If you can find a role that you enjoy, you will do well at it. Keep looking. For me the diagnosis was a big relief that explained why I suffered with things. Now I don't need to worry about why. I only need to manage things to work for me now. Look to the future and do not dwell on the past. There isn't a great deal you can do about the past, until we invent time travel, but there is everything you can do about the future. Focus on that, and good luck.
My advice since you are thinking of quitting your employment - Is Firstly You MUST get some professional advice from Your Local Benefits advice shop, and separately from your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
You don't really need to have to work for yourself. If you had that sort of ambition or drive to work 18 hrs a day and most probably fail and lose everything you are 30 to 40 years too late. All this working for yourself is a pie in the sky effort by every Government to get You and others off Benefits and to increase the Job Statistics of people working. 1 or 2% may make a go of it with help of others like family working and getting no pay and resenting it. Have a look at your local corner shop, it is a different work ethic to being employed, you will see children doing jobs. they start young.
If you want to work at anything Have it as a Hobby. and enjoy it. I speak of one who has always carried the torch for self employment. starting with hauling wood out of Bombed buildings and try to sell bundles of Firewood for 3d old pennies at 7 possibly 8.
You make enemies if you start to succeed - Take my word for it. This can lead to becoming very ill.
Get some advice before you leave your employment, While you are ill this should be the last thing you should do, It will affect whatever benefits you get, because you did this voluntarily.
If you have membership of a Trades Union get their advice,
You Need ADVICE and Help and Guidance, especially if your employer wants to sack you, because you are ill.
diagnosed a year ago, mid 40s, F
Just wanted to say hi and welcome. I was diagnosed at 46 am now 50 female. your post caught me as you mentioned the 'D' word dogs, I also have 3 2 whippets and a greyhound, they are my world and as far as I am concerned my main support. What sort of dogs do you have?
Hi nice to meet you Bagpuss7
Hi Bookworm. thanks for your reply. I have three English setters, they are also my world. I would have reacted the same way having seen a reference to dogs. lol. I see we are also both nurses.. or at least i am still registered but desperate to do something else.
Hi, thanks for your concern. I have union involvement although i think they struggle to understand as much as my employers. My employers have failed to make reasonable adjustments ( I was long diagnosed with chronic anxiety which qualified as a disability years before I got the recent autism diagnosis.) now I am able to reflect with the knowledge of diagnosis and I am learning all the time about my triggers, the overwhelm and the incessant anxiety, i see i cannot continue in my role. I need a new start with less face to face contact as I really struggle but i don't intend to resign my post until all options have been explored.
Hi, thanks for the reply. may i ask what you do working for yourself? I am also relieved with the diagnosis but I am upset it is so late in life. How are you coping and learning as regards your recent diagnosis?
Hi, thank you for your concern. I have union involvement to help me with my current job situation but I will not be returning. I have done the job for five years and have been off sick with overwhelming anxiety and stress every year. they ailed to make reasonable adjustments each time. I need a new start but do need to pay my mortgage. unfortunately for me one of my difficulties is accessing organisations and support. I cannot ask for help, I have to sort things out myself. its a rigid fixed idea. I have a ridiculous fear of benefits and the job centre but nothing to stop me looking on line, thank you.