Hi - Mum of autistic young man

Welcome. My daughter is 21. It has been a hard journey and it never ends, there are new challenges at each turn :)

hi I'm Jan I'm just so emotionally upset because I see my son changing I worry and think is it just autism or something else I've asked this to the professionals and they say it's just autism it's the constant talking to himself he's a bit of a jerkil and hide. We feel we're walking on egg shells and if say the wrong thing or ask the same question twice he goes on at us for hours days weeks for very trivial things it's so mentally draining.

Hi Jam. I completely understand. Being a parent of autistic children and young people is a very intense and at times upsetting life and it doesn't miraculously get better after 18, just the problems are different. It is as rewarding as any parenting, but conventional wisdom and practices don't really work for us, do they?  It is upsetting mostly because their is not much support that is helpful enough to make a difference. We love our children so much and trying our best, but basically there are always new challenges and you don't know how to deal with them, how to help, while professionals indeed go home at 5 and even between 9 and 5 don't have any pertinent answers. This is what I struggled with. 

I suppose the relationship between parents and young people should change anyway at certain stage, as they become more mature, independent and take full ownership of their life. But for autistic youngsters it doesn't always work as neatly I suppose. It doesn't  for us.

You are saying he is changing, may I ask in what way, could you expand? He is reacting to something for weeks, so it must be hurtful and important for him, what it means for him is not trivial.

Hi Jam. I completely understand. Being a parent of autistic children and young people is a very intense and at times upsetting life and it doesn't miraculously get better after 18, just the problems are different. It is as rewarding as any parenting, but conventional wisdom and practices don't really work for us, do they?  It is upsetting mostly because their is not much support that is helpful enough to make a difference. We love our children so much and trying our best, but basically there are always new challenges and you don't know how to deal with them, how to help, while professionals indeed go home at 5 and even between 9 and 5 don't have any pertinent answers. This is what I struggled with. 

I suppose the relationship between parents and young people should change anyway at certain stage, as they become more mature, independent and take full ownership of their life. But for autistic youngsters it doesn't always work as neatly I suppose. It doesn't  for us.

You are saying he is changing, may I ask in what way, could you expand? He is reacting to something for weeks, so it must be hurtful and important for him, what it means for him is not trivial.