Hi - Mum of autistic young man

Welcome. My daughter is 21. It has been a hard journey and it never ends, there are new challenges at each turn :)

hi I'm Jan I'm just so emotionally upset because I see my son changing I worry and think is it just autism or something else I've asked this to the professionals and they say it's just autism it's the constant talking to himself he's a bit of a jerkil and hide. We feel we're walking on egg shells and if say the wrong thing or ask the same question twice he goes on at us for hours days weeks for very trivial things it's so mentally draining.

hi I'm Jan I'm just so emotionally upset because I see my son changing I worry and think is it just autism or something else I've asked this to the professionals and they say it's just autism it's the constant talking to himself he's a bit of a jerkil and hide. We feel we're walking on egg shells and if say the wrong thing or ask the same question twice he goes on at us for hours days weeks for very trivial things it's so mentally draining.

Hi do you know if I should have power of attorney in place? And is it essential?

Something is disturbing your child whether they are male or female. It could be they Understand that their Employment or Studies will end and they have an uncertain future. You have a family crisis that may affect them. They are perhaps being bullied somehow. They like/dislike someone. Their sexual hormones are changing and they become very frustrated in their own world of existence. Too much pressure is put on them, or you, completing Massive forms for benefit entitlement when ticking the wrong box gives a completely different result they need that requires an appeal. I have spent something like months filling in 30+ page documents DWP benefit agency ESA and PIP in 3 variously corrected copies reading and rereading the meaning of what is really meant by the questions, some are obvious of course, some are deceptive. With Pip I even sent in corrections after I had submitted the final form, before a decision had been made. All copied, and with a free certificate of posting on request from the Post office. Always keep all paper copies of what is sent and the Drafts. They can be a full box file of Paper. Always back date any claim you make to a an earlier date if you can prove it. We are all human and we are all fallible. While there is also the Public service Ombudsman with what seems to be limited to within 6 months, Where as an Unpaid Carer of Last Resort do you get the luxury of time to deal with fighting in my case where Public can be shown to have lied to avoid paying out and you are years behind what should have been dealt with earlier. They know it.

Hi Jam. I completely understand. Being a parent of autistic children and young people is a very intense and at times upsetting life and it doesn't miraculously get better after 18, just the problems are different. It is as rewarding as any parenting, but conventional wisdom and practices don't really work for us, do they?  It is upsetting mostly because their is not much support that is helpful enough to make a difference. We love our children so much and trying our best, but basically there are always new challenges and you don't know how to deal with them, how to help, while professionals indeed go home at 5 and even between 9 and 5 don't have any pertinent answers. This is what I struggled with. 

I suppose the relationship between parents and young people should change anyway at certain stage, as they become more mature, independent and take full ownership of their life. But for autistic youngsters it doesn't always work as neatly I suppose. It doesn't  for us.

You are saying he is changing, may I ask in what way, could you expand? He is reacting to something for weeks, so it must be hurtful and important for him, what it means for him is not trivial.

Try speaking to the NHS Staff of your Local Authority's Social Services for Adults. What we all need is More respite placings for our loved ones. just remember All employed professionals  all go home at 5 o clock, probably only work half the week, have every weekend off, Have at least the minimum 4 weeks holidays, Plus a further 8 days public holidays You probably need some respite and often. Remember There is Firstly Your G.P.,  The CAB, Benefit agencies, Your elected representatives, MP's, MEP's,  Councillors, and local organisations. if you can find the time to contact them.

When your autistic child can recognise your stress, it affects their sense of predictability of their future and can even be a trigger for them attacking those that love them.