Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi guys,
I have no idea where to start with this and I could do with some help. I'm here because I've struggled all my life with what *I think* must be Asperger's. I don't have an official diagnosis, nothing concrete to go on. Over the past few months, I've worked through several online tests which suggest I may have Asperger's and I think I express many of the typical behavioural and social indicators. I think the penny dropped when I watched a documentary presented by Chris Packham a couple of years ago, in which he was discussing Asperger's. I sat there thinking, wow, I can relate to everything he is saying! Whatever is going on, I am incapable of making friends. I've had a small number of friends throughout my life but they have been and gone. I'm 34, I have a successful career, but no friends whatsoever. I get on well with colleagues although small talk makes me feel very uncomfortable. I'm socially awkward, but I think I generally mask this quite well. I prefer to be on my own when the prospect of a social situation arises, but I can also feel very lonely. I guess my question is...what can I do to help myself? How do people deal with this?
Thanks for reading. It would be great to hear back from someone.
Hey :)
One way of looking at it is like a gamble. You put your time and effort into making friends, hoping that it will pay off in the form of close friends. But if you have a condition like autism, that reduces your odds of winning. In this case, some people will keep playing in the hope of making long-lasting friendships, while others will decide it is not worth spending valuable time and effort on, or reduce the amount of importance they place on it.
It sounds like you want to keep pursuing friendship. I'm not too sure on how to go about doing so (I'm in a similar boat!), but keep smiling and being friendly, and hopefully you get what you're looking for!
Wishing you the best!x
Much love <3