Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! My names Sarah and I have a question for you all. Could someone be autistic and not recognise it? My son (he's in his late 20's) definitely shows traits. He fixates on things and is meticulous about facts, he will look up words you use and quote you the dictionary definition in the middle of a conversation especially when trying to prove a point. He has a massive capacity for learning and absorbing information, he can quote back to you a conversation word for word. He doesn't recognise social prompts or body language, even when told clearly to go away and stop talking he will ignore it and continue to 'quote' fact at you. I have mentioned to him that I think he needs to go to the GP as I feel he may be on the spectrum, three days later he came back to me with so much information as to why he definitely isn't on the spectrum but has ignored everything I have pointed out about why I feel he is!!
There are problems at work with his work mates who continuously run out of patience with him and make snide comments about him. I don't know how to move forward from here as he is adamant there is nothing wrong! Advise please :) Thank you in advance and sorry for waffling!!
Hi Sarah
until about 1999 is was not necessarily recognised/diagnosed in education (date is irrelevant to me).
Anyway, many adults born before that would have hidden traits/characteristics of Aspoerger's/Autism/etc to varying degrees/levels with females able to hide it more than males.
Anyway everyone experienced in Autism/Aspergers recognised traits in me at 42 but it has only become on my radar at 51 and I am still awaiting a diagnosis. I have a friend, the same age, going through it now and even I never realised the traits.
The problems are that not only do people not know how to introduce their perceptions that someone has these traits, however major/minor but some just do not see it - Oh (s)he is grumpy/awkward/eccentric.
Read the thread here on employer invalidating diagnosis - Equality Act 2010 states you do not need a diagnosis or disclosed to the company. Your son shows some traits that are higher than mine and is experiencing, IMHO, the same as many of us Neuro Diverse people from the Neuro Typicals (quote Normal) people which could constitute bullying/harassment (a legal person could confirm that).
Hi thanks for the advice. My friend has identified traits in my son and pretty much every one who knows him says he definitely has something it is only him who can't see it. He's also either telling everyone how he's right and he knows more and he's intelligent - or that he's useless and not good enough for anyone! But you are right mainly people just call him argumentative or awkward. I will look at the work thing it's just a tad complicated. I just wish I could do something. I have learnt that he needs detail to be able to carry out a regular task and reminding to repeat something over and over to form a habit. The other weird thing is he doesn't seem to be able to lie, not even for diplomacy sake!!