hello

hello

( bear with me -  possibly not the best at communication and isolation effects problems, also, I think )

- hope I can express myself properly sans tangents. thank you for reading ..

Apologies regards quirky writing ..

- "bullet point" seem to help minimize tangents, and dictating

-ok so - relatively confused here ;40's,  diagnosed. 

"Complex" medical diagnosis; autism diagnosis relatively recent 

-coming to terms 

-replaying life events and processing past 

--autism was  'picked up ' after divorce , and effects of routine collapse (re: management physical problems, and I understand y routine collapse affected deeply  ;to a degree )

- support post diagnosis seems limited (6x councelling session  ) ;this, seems unusual for life long diagnosis.

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(please bear with me possibly not the best at communication and isolation effects problems, also, I think )

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-tend to ' copy '  terms and phrases 'picked-up' through re-search with a view to improve  communication, well-being, and possibly limit  isolation, and  pharmaceuticals  (for injury's) and in some regards appears beneficial, but this (aforementioned) doesn't seem beneficial because seem to come across as complaining, they say.

-pre-injury's, and research however this aspect was significantly more challenging for me so, in a way I glad  

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- potential friends  'evaporate' so to speak

;autism appears beneficial with regards physical problems because discovering/developing over time numerous coping strategies (unawares defined as coping strategies  while diagnosed)

-significant time researching physical problems

;was/is beneficial with communication to an extent

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 Possibly of benefit to society ( correct environment - support 

;allotment space available - challenging maintain however permaculture principles, and with 1, or 2 able body's .. who know s

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-in-person communication challenging to say the least to make friendships ,or even opportunity, but, I do try as/when opportunity arises, often indoors because physical problems that said, autism seems to be impacting sensory perception s with  pain list injury

-seem be misunderstood significantly (using terms I barely understand to express myself/  also (not) trying too-hard, and  use words I barely understand) and with this, few friends, if any , in fact longest standing friend appears have ditched me sorry say ; was a kinda life line even though probably doesnt realize this ?!

- too enthusistic and scared normies off in the past I think , that said, 

I'm aware more now I think;thanks in part , to diagnosis. 

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learned to curb enthusiasm because  repeated rejection  at school age and beyond . But , can be intense person I guess

;It has been said I complain alot.

sorry say sans regular friends at time of writing ( though a neighbour calls in to see me relatively frequently )

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- many 'hangers on' in the past ( pre-physical problems )

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-physical sensation experiences post injury appears have significant impact on mental state because autism sensory perception problems

;whereI'm up with regard my understanding of coming to term with the overall picture  so to speks

- so, possibly in the right place ?

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;injury appeared affect memeory function which, for me, was excellent and significant part my personality I think,  then bump to head - appeared effect '' what I term as : 'fish-brain' (5x second memory - pretty distressing )Similar having Ferrari, then 1989's Skoda I think ;that said,  pre-injury  brain function re-appears sporadically , and with this I try to catch up with basic tasks,  and tackle basic administration ( (oft' poorly, and distressing bc 'fish-brain).

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- seem significantly misunderstood 

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-if you read up to here; thank you for reading.

Regards,