Greetings

Hello everyone,  I'm a 43yo male, I started looking into autism relating to my daughter originally as she has had many problems over the years (she is now a teenager) and she was diagnosed a few months ago (after a very long process), however looking into her symptoms, and having been on an awareness course I have come to accept that I very likely also have ASD (my daughter is very like me in a lot of ways).

I kind of always discounted it in the past as I have managed to have a reasonably successful career (software engineering), good marriage and 2 children but the last few years I have had a lot of anxiety and depression and I think it's basically down to having spent my whole life masking what I am actually feeling underneath and it just getting more and more difficult to keep it up, and I often feel very panicked and anxious internally, even though everyone around me thinks I'm completely chilled. Small things going wrong often put me into a level of anxiety where I find it difficult to even process what people are saying to me - kind of almost blacking out.

Always found social situations difficult, particularly those with lots of noise and multiple people talking - it feels a bit like having a conversation whilst very drunk where I don't seem to quite get what is going on, usually all I can think of is how long I have to stay before I can leave without seeming rude. When I was younger I would get dragged to parties and clubs and always felt completely isolated from what was going on, and couldn't (and still don't) 'get' what was actually fun about them, but to fit in would always try and fake it. Also find phone conversations very difficult, and maintaining eye contact when talking face to face is awkward (I usually pretend to be thinking and looking away into the distance). I am quite obsessive as well, particularly relating to films,books, music, old toys etc - my wife is pretty understanding about it which is great, though she has always found it very frustrating that I don't like hugging and don't really know how to express what I am feeling,or rather that when she asks me, I don't really know myself!

I'm basically here to see what advice there is for strategies on dealing with it, for both myself and my daughter.