Published on 12, July, 2020
hi there I’m new to this site... my 16 year old son was diagnosed on Friday... the struggles we have had since he was two years old have been awful... getting the diagnosis alone has been a very stressful journey, I had to take him out of school when he was 14 and I home educated him... were still trying to home educate now but are taking a break due to the diagnosis and letting him get his head around it... I just don’t understand what’s next... also I’m angry he has had to suffer most of his school life and being labelled the naughty kid... the support I’ve had lately has been pretty good just wish it was like that years ago so things could have been put in place for him and he could have completed school. Thanks for reading
Hi there, I have only just signed on here, but I wanted to just let you know NAS3294 that I totally know where you are coming from as we have had a similar experience. Our 14yo son was just diagnosed on the spectrum this week and we finally have some answers, but not without years of pain in the education system, with all the blame being put on him and us as parents.
It is very hard when you are wracking your brains for ways to make things work and doing your utmost as a parent and repeatedly fed the message that it's an attitude problem on his part and a parenting deficit on ours. We were lucky that our first son was NT, so I knew it wasn't bad parenting - even though I had to keep reminding myself that when my confidence was being battered.
But it also is upsetting to know all the wasted years of schooling where he sat behind his desk achieving nothing. We are still hanging in there in the education system, and now I have a diagnosis we have something concrete to take to them, and we will be getting all the help we can to make sure he is heard and treated with respect. Fortunately where I am, I have been put in touch with an education department consultant who can advocate to the school on our behalf, so I am hoping things will be much better from now on.
At the very least the teachers can no longer get away with their assessment that "you're just not trying" or "you just don't care so I will put my time into the 29 other kids who do" - which was said recently by a teacher who I had thought, because of what I had seen of her elsewhere, would be more understanding.
We were also lucky that a more helpful primary school teacher he had from 8-10 noticed that he would be good at performing (we already knew he had great potential musically) and got him into the school play - ever since then he has been heavily involved in musical theatre where he can move, express the things that he is really good at, and his quirkiness is appreciated. Even so it is still a challenge.
NAS39306 - there will be help, I hope for you too, where I am it is through the national organisation representing autism. With a diagnosis you have some solid information to present to your school. Keep looking for support.