New Member, bit at a loss since diagnosis

Good to hear. I think you're right about patience, and not talking down to her. Long may it continue.

Hi All

many thanks for the replies i was away last week o this is the first time ive had to get online and reply properly.

i went away with my wife son and daughter. my daughter has been diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum. i have to say the holiday went well as with my daughter we had to change the way in which we talk to her and respond to her and patience is definitely the key.

she sometimes stammers when talking to you and as i usually know what she intends to say i will finish her sentence for her which i now don't do and let her finish it herself. also being more patient with her in general and allow any fixations or OCD instances to run their course. she did seem a lot happier also even though she may not have noticed the change in me and my wife.

my wife is not my daughters mother as we separated some time ago. so with that in mind the subject of autism came up in conversation between my daughter and her mom. she didn't really react only to say that she didn't want to have autism but was explained to her that she had a special brain rather than described as an illness. i have yet to speak with her since this conversation but am eager to see if she mentions this to me so i can hopefully help to alleviate any concerns she has.

ian

HI Jane

many thanks for your reply and apologies for the delay. i was away for the week last week so this is the first chance ive had to get online.

Ian

Are there any particular areas or things that you feel you'd like more information about? Or difficulties that you are facing with your child, perhaps those that led to seeking a diagnosis? It's a little difficult to give help or advice without knowing what the specific problem is really. Autism is such a wide spectrum and even two people on the same point on the spectrum will face different challenges and be affected in different ways.  

Yes, it's a lot to take in. That can take a while. I'm not a parent, but had my own diagnosis a couple of years ago in my 40s. Suddenly something that was 'other' is a lot closer at hand, not just being autistic but the wider idea of being disabled. It has explained a lot. And a lot of that I probably couldn't have got just from books because it's unique experience and behaviour that I'm now seeing through the new lens of 'neurodiversity'. Basically everyone is different, and autistic people doubly so, or more than doubly. So I'm learning not to make assumptions about what people can and cannot do.

How old is your child, and how is their communication? I expect the usual Tony Attwood books should be helpful. The Naoki Higashida books (The Reason I Jump and its sequel) that have been translated by the novelist David Mitchell may be interesting. 'Naoki has autism of a type labelled severe and non-verbal' like Mitchell's son, and that's helped him understand autism as a sensory and communication difference rather than a lack of intelligence or emotional awareness which it's often painted as. I also found Neurotribes interesting at putting autism into historical context.

I think most useful might be local groups, both NAS groups, and general groups of concerned parents and carers that get involved in campaigns to secure services. There are probably a lot of people living near you who've had similar experiences.

If you have any specific questions, feel free to start a new thread, and you may get answers from parents and autistic adults.  Good luck.

Hello Ian

I'm a new member too - my 14 year son just being diagnosed this week -  following this thread if you don't mind

Jane